Friday, October 31, 2008

Shopping list: shaving cream, eggs, toilet paper

Happy Halloween! Remember this dude above? I went as him on Halloween one year. That, or my John McEnroe costume, were my favorite Halloween outfits of all time.

Tonight when I leave work I'm going to drop by a grocery store and buy 2 things: a bag of apples and a box of razor blades. I want to see if they follow me out and write down my license plate # as I leave.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Mind numbing jobs can really effect brain function

Sitting in a cubicle for double digit hours is about as fun as watching my beard grow. This morning I thought of something comical to write and now I can hardly piece it together. Plus everyone was grumpy today from the Rays losing the World Series.

I gotta give the Philly fans credit though, they know how to party. This dude get hits with a bottle and falls to the pavement from a street light. Reminded me of Hot Water Music show.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

World Series goes to Philly

Nice season Tampa Bay Rays. Really impressive. But they failed.......

Now I can finally get some sleep this month instead of watching baseball to the late hours of the night. I'm a baseball junkie and nerdy statistician that can calculate a person's batting average based on the changing pitch count.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Incoherent Observation

I've been out of the dating scene for the last 5 years due to my luck of meeting a super cool girl (don't give me hell for not being married, we're happy as we are). Really, I don't deserve her at all after living the life of a drunken libertine from middle school through my early 30's. I'm not necessarily sure if I was sick of the lifestyle, or if the lifestyle conformed into something I'm not. I think it's the latter.

In the late 90's the social scene became more dance clubby and every other person appeared twisted on ecstasy, the annoying drug that makes azzholes into feely, touchy azzholes. Personally, I hate drugs. Always have. Booze worked for me and I never turn my back on a friend. Anyway, when I was 31 I dated a girl that was 21. We didn't have much in common other than hanging out at the same St. Pete beach bars on Saturdays. I thought we got along well enough to remain dating until I met her parents. They liked me, so it wasn't an issue of them poisoning the well. The problem was I actually had more in common with them than I did with their daughter. Her father and I had the same tastes in cars, his favorite Zeppelin album was also mine (Physical Graffiti), and he was also a huge James Dean fan. I was deeply disturbed that, at the time, I had more in common with babyboomers than a Millenial. God, I'm so lame. I broke up with her the next time we had a fight over nothing by acting like whatever she did, I no longer remember, was the biggest effin deal in the world. It finally dawned on me that any meaningful relationship I ever had was with a GenXster. I've never dated a boomer, and since they're sagging or botoxing now, it will NEVER happen. I'll happily stick with my GenXster.

NOTE: I know it may seem peculiar that someone could even think about being a clown in their 30's. But I live in Florida, the land of people "fucking off", so believe it or not it's perfectly acceptable for people of any age to continue to act like a high schooler who's parents just left alone in the house for the weekend.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Austrialia: the only country that regularly documents GenXsters

From the Herald Sun:

Unlike their younger Gen Y brothers and sisters, Gen X know what a recession is - they graduated from university just in time to get their honours in an economic slowdown.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Keepin' Tabs

Whatever happened to Liv Tyler? Seriously! I live life fairly obliviously, so I have no idea where she's been over the last decade? I still can't believe that the Mick Jagger wannabe, Steven Tyler, was able to produce someone so beautiful.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Go Rays

Whoa. If you happened to have seen my post from last Thursday you'll know that I nearly jinxed the Tampa Bay Rays from making it to the World Series. Thankfully, the Rays bailed my overly anxious mouth out and eventually won the ALCS against the Boston Red Sox.

Although I'm obviously happy for the local team, there is a bit of sadness in their defeat of Boston. Here's my reasoning: the Red Sox have been the best team of the decade and the core of their team is comprised of GenXsters (David Ortiz, Kevin Youkilis, et cetera). The Rays best players are all south of 26 years old and obviously from Generation Whine. The Rays didn't just end the Red Sox dominance, they effectively closed the chapter on Gen X being the preeminent force in Major League Baseball.

.....unlike the boomers, it's important for us to know when to hand over our sword.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Any dude that uses Twisted Sister... a post must be alright (even though he's a "northerner" from GA....J/K!)

Oh yeah, and Boomer, we see you trying to save social security. I have a better idea. When all of you reach retirement age here soon just take the money out and split it up among yourselves. We don't need it. We have done without for so long because it was all you, that we are willing to do without now and give to our children. Our children can just stop paying into social security when they enter the workforce, and use the extra money for themselves and their families, their success is our success.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

UPDATE:...when Florida freezes over

UPDATE: Fuck. I did jinx the home team. The Red Sox scored 7 runs to tie the game and have a chance to win in the 9th.

No time to blog - - the Tampa Bay Rays look like they're going to the World Series. Shit, I may have just jinxed them.

This town is gonna get nuts.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

From the folks that brought us the tea tax

A British GenXster reminiscing and bagging on Gen Y.

For Generation X, there is something almost reassuring about recession. For me, spawned in 1971, it's been a case of lack of business as usual, be it 1974-75, 1980-81 or 1991. Indeed, in the manner of professional Northerners, X-ers might boast that "It's All We Had".
Before they mutated into boomers, our parents were weaned in an atmosphere of post-war austerity of a sort to make them insist that we lick the pattern off our plates. Spam fritters were a staple of the school menu (X-ers should be grateful to have been spared snook). In the Seventies, we were so impoverished that someone recently inspecting the Betts family album asked whether we were clad in gypsy fancy-dress (we weren't).

I guess we're going to be pricks to Millenials as the Boomers were to us. Oh well, they'll pay us back by bagging on our kids.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Stupid GenXster Tricks

A dude from work and I shared stories of our time as bored youths and what we did to pass time. He's a year younger than me (35 y/o), with a similar background.

Here's a few examples of my stupidity. If any kids are reading I dare you to top these:

The Homemade Grenade (age 12)- A got a hold of a few 1/4 sticks of dynamite that I stole fair and square from a friend. After I blew up a couple I came up with a dumbass idea to make one ultra powerful. I rubbed glue on the outside of the 1/4 stick and rolled it in a bowl of BB's. After the glue dried I had a bomb with over a 100 pieces of shrapnel adhered to the outside. I took it out in the woods, lit it, and ran behind a oak tree. When it blew, the BB's tore through all vegetation within a 40 foot radius. Leaves, tree limbs, and small plants were leveled. The tree I hid behind had been embedded with the silver spheres. This actually scared the fuck out of me and I was glad it was the last 1/4 stick I had.

Teh Milkshake Bomb (age 16)- My buddy and I were driving down a road with a 50 MPH limit, so we were doing about seventy (I was sitting shotgun). I had a McDonalds vanilla milkshake in my lap and I could see a jogger coming our way. For no reason what-so-ever I threw it out the car and nailed him in the neck (that's where the police report said he was struck). Yep, somehow, some way, someone got my buddy's license plate # and we were called to the police station. My Pop was liiiiivid (understandably, since he was a police officer in a different city), he wouldn't even say a word the entire ride down to the station. The cops succeeded in scaring the fuck out of me. They locked me in my own cell for awhile and treated me like a jackass. After all this I would like to thank the man I hit with the milkshake for not pressing charges. Worst of all my friend was completely innocent. I didn't give him any warning for the act I was going to commit. I took the rap by telling the cops the truth, but my buddy's father still didn't believe his always-in-trouble son had nothing to do with it.

HST is a bad influence (age 17)- Inspired by Hunter S. Thompson's book, Hell's Angels, I rolled a metal garbage can in front of a city bus. HST was correct, it does sound like a Volkswagen getting run over. Judging by the heavy use of brakes, the bus driver must have thought he killed a homeless person pushing a shopping cart. I could literally hear the passengers screaming. People on the block looked out the windows or ran outside. I would like to take the time to thank my parents for passing me their athletic genes that enabled me to quickly get away.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Out of Office: Auto Reply

Mercifully I'll be away from this rotten box for a few days attending various professional sporting events, drinkin' beer and telling girls "I'm 29".

Here's some gloriously beautiful music from the era when ability trumped over-jelled hair.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Boomerang Boomers

The azzholes who have been blessed with the greatest economic times in Our Country's history are coming back to the workforce for more.

Xers are outcomes focused. Boomers like to talk process ... a lot. With Boomers in charge, Xers have learned to work with it. But when Boomers retire from their "first" career, it will be Xers who take their place. Is it payback time?

Suzanne also links to an excellent article (Don't Treat Them Like Baby Boomers).

Here's zah bottom line: if the boomers need a little extra loot I think it's time they worked the same shitty jobs I did out of college before the IT industry took off- mow some lawns, shovel driveways, milk cows, 7-Eleven night clerk, bar back, concession stand worker at the Kentucky Derby, et cetera.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

My less than fantastic voyage

thru the intertubes.

With a Maker's Mark and cola leaving water rings on my computer table, here's the sites I hit when I got home for work.

Another goddamn bad day with the market, let's see what Calculated Risk says: "Wek, it's a good thing you have low debt cuz your employer of 9 years has layoffs-a-comin'." Oh well, I guess I'll check my investments anyhow. Holy Jesus, I could barely buy a used Ford Focus with what's left. Well, I know it's absolutely retarded to buy one of the motorcycles I was looking at on Ebay, but let's see what they're going for today. I won't have a jobie-job, but I'll have a sweet bike. Over to YouTube to see a lunatic on a motorcycle that's on my wish list. Jeebus, this dude is going so fast it looks like the surroundings just threw itself in reverse. Since I'm on YouTube I'm feeling a bit musically nostalgic. Ned's Atomic Dustbin will do.

Okay, enough of this nonsense, these times are very serious so I need to get an update on what happened in today's political landscape. Greenwald? No. Captains Quarters? Nah. How about the wise asses at Sadly, No!. Hell yeah. Atrios, too? Sure. While I'm at it, wonder how the wingnuts are doing? Okay, I'll be serious for real this time. Counterinsurgency sparks an interest in me, as well as Military insight on the goings on of our fucked up country. Good enough for now, everyone agrees that everything still sucks. I'd hate to see unicorns and rainbows any time soon.

Man, if my girlfriend wasn't so hot (and unbelievably sweet) I'd be hoisting a few more bourbons and looking for a fattie here. For the record I don't know anyone that's ever met a hookup on Craigs List, but I'm sure it happens for the truly persistent.

Shit, my ice cubes are watering down my drink. That's what I get for putting it in a 40 ounce container.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

No more R and R

I wasn't gonna post again until Monday, but then I thought LT. Nixon probably doesn't want his masked mug at the top of my crappy blog for another day.

For your misery, here's a babyboomer blog called "Aging Hipsters".

They. Will. Never. Go. Away.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Congrats LT Nixon

World famous Milblogger, LT Nixon, hit the 50,000 visitor milestone today. Born in 1980, the LT may be the last GenXster ever born. If you haven't visited his rapidly expanding spot on the intertubes I suggest you stop wasting your time here and drop by. Although this does come with a WARNING: The LT does not brake for small animals or even a nun pushing a baby carriage.

Remember this dude?

If you were a kid in the 70's it's likely you saw the "Mr. Yuk" sticker on the side of bottles of cleaners, paint removers or any household liquid substance that could potentially have made one vomit up their intestines.

I'm not too sure of the effectiveness of Mr. Yuk? My sister and I used to search the home for bottles with his image and be in awe of its potentiality to kill (no we didn't drink any, but some ants got a bath). Besides, most kids of any era would know after a few swigs of Drano that "this stuff sucks" and put it down with minimal harm. Of course today's parents make their kiddies wear a bike helmet to take out the garbage (yes, I'm calling out over-protective GenXster parents).