Thursday, August 28, 2008

Watching the campaigns hurts mah brain

...don't know how I'm gonna make it through next week's round. I'm starting to forget things. Where'd I place mah dick?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Emo: most of it sucks, but we should still take credit

Undoubtedly Generation Whine's musical preferences will range from Britney-like Pop (sadly, the New Kids were the Beatles in comparison), Pop Punk (these dudes are finally developing pubic hair) and Emo.

Emo was popularized after the Grunge* era of rock and it was basically billed as 'Punk with sentiment'. Although this music form flourished for over a decade it's pinnacle was in 1994 when the great record label, Sub Pop, pushed Sunny Day Real Estate onto college radio. Most of the time I prefer music to be raw and brutal. Here, I'm glad to replace brutal with beautiful.

*Never understood why the word "Grunge" was used to describe the bands of the early 90's era? It sounded just like kick ass Metal to me.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm rich, beeeeeyotch!

GenXster millionaires:

Gen Xers have a markedly different approach to investing from their parents and grandparents. Not only are they unwilling to blindly take on their parents' financial counselors, they're also opinionated about the attributes they look for in an advisor when they strike out on their own. From a round of interviews with the young jet set and their advisers, it became clear that past performance and impressive returns aren't sufficient to gain a Gen X client's business. What's even more important to this generation is a feeling of assurance that the individual advisor has integrity and trustworthiness.

Monday, August 25, 2008 Obama 1st Gen X preznit candidate

Call me a fair weather fan if you may, I can care less. If Obama becomes prez and does a great job he'll then be considered a GenXster. If he loses the November election or becomes the prez, but does a poor job I'm gonna say "another babyboomer fuckin' it up for everyone else".

He's the son of a baby boomer — his mother, Anne, was born in 1942 —and although his birth in 1961 puts him slightly ahead of the textbook mid-1960s start date of Gen X, he is the same age as the man who coined the term "Generation X," author Douglas Coupland.

Did I ever tell anyone what a huge Yankee fan I am? Unless of course the Red Sox are playing better. BWAHAHA!

NOTE: I do indeed have very strong political beliefs. I just choose to speak them on other blog sites. I wish for Latchkey Man to be open to Libs, NeoCons, Greens, Libertarians, Satanists, Greek Gods and all other view points that give their believers a false sense of self importance.

Most. Lame. Blog. Evahhh.

Besides mine.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Last throes of the Faux-Hawk?

The faux-hawk, the official Gen Y haircut seems to be in decline much to the dismay of the hair gel industry. Whether these dudes will admit it or not, David Beckham is their style idol (NOTE: David Beckham had his Gen X membership lifted from him the moment he slipped it in Posh Spice).

As usual, I have nothing to base this study on. It's just an observation I've made from my social circle and the youngins at work.

Libby Logic spoke of this Generation Whine phenomenon of 'rebellious' conformity early this year:

Who the hell invented this hairstyle? Really, it had to be a joke. I'm sure some smart-ass hairstylist was sick of dealing with over an overly difficult client and thought "what can I do to really make him look like a penis?" Voila, the faux hawk was born. And now it has taken over the world.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Baby Boomers Chapter 2

UPDATE: Link now fixed

LT Nixon offers his thoughts on Generation Y (Whine). Unlike this lazy blogger, the LT (soon to be an Admiral) actually does research by offering polls and links to relevant articles.

Mind strong, body weeeeeeak

Latchkey Man hasn't fed the Metal Gods in days. Gods are ANGRY. Now demand Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Well, I'm glad the baby is healthy

...but someone really needs to submit this to Hot Chicks with Douchebags:

Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale welcomed their second little prince today, E! News has confirmed.

Know Our Heros

Year 1982- Yuri Andropov was the new leader of the Soviet Union during a tense time in the Cold War. Yuri made many o'comment interpreted as threatening to the U.S.A. and to human rights in general and did little to ease anxiety between his country and the Western World. It was a strange time when even we kiddos thought we were going to be blown through the ozone with nukes.

As I was doing dopey, but pleasurable things like egging cars, a 10 year old from Maine took the initiative to write a letter to Mr. Andropov and directly get his insight on the most serious matter of the time.

It read as follows:

Dear Mr. Andropov,

My name is Samantha Smith. I am ten years old. Congratulations on your new job. I have been worrying about Russia and the United States getting into a nuclear war. Are you going to vote to have a war or not? If you aren't please tell me how you are going to help to not have a war. This question you do not have to answer, but I would like to know why you want to conquer the world or at least our country. God made the world for us to live together in peace and not to fight.

Samantha Smith

Some time passed and then Mr. Andropov responded:

Dear Samantha,

I received your letter, which is like many others that have reached me recently from your country and from other countries around the world.

It seems to me—I can tell by your letter—that you are a courageous and honest girl, resembling Becky, the friend of Tom Sawyer in the famous book of your compatriot Mark Twain. This book is well known and loved in our country by all boys and girls.

You write that you are anxious about whether there will be a nuclear war between our two countries. And you ask are we doing anything so that war will not break out.

Your question is the most important of those that every thinking man can pose. I will reply to you seriously and honestly.

Yes, Samantha, we in the Soviet Union are trying to do everything so that there will not be war on Earth. This is what every Soviet man wants. This is what the great founder of our state, Vladimir Lenin, taught us.

Soviet people well know what a terrible thing war is. Forty-two years ago, Nazi Germany which strove for supremacy over the whole world, attacked our country, burned and destroyed many thousands of our towns and villages, killed millions of Soviet men, women and children.

In that war, which ended with our victory, we were in alliance with the United States: together we fought for the liberation of many people from the Nazi invaders. I hope that you know about this from your history lessons in school. And today we want very much to live in peace, to trade and cooperate with all our neighbors on this earth—with those far away and those near by. And certainly with such a great country as the United States of America.

In America and in our country there are nuclear weapons—terrible weapons that can kill millions of people in an instant. But we do not want them to be ever used. That's precisely why the Soviet Union solemnly declared throughout the entire world that never—never—will it use nuclear weapons first against any country. In general we propose to discontinue further production of them and to proceed to the abolition of all the stockpiles on earth.

It seems to me that this is a sufficient answer to your second question: "Why do you want to wage war against the whole world or at least the United States?" We want nothing of the kind. No one in our country—neither workers, peasants, writers nor doctors, neither grown-ups nor children, nor members of the government—want either a big or "little" war.

We want peace—there is something that we are occupied with: growing wheat, building and inventing, writing books and flying into space. We want peace for ourselves and for all peoples of the planet. For our children and for you, Samantha.

I invite you, if your parents will let you, to come to our country, the best time being this summer. You will find out about our country, meet with your contemporaries, visit an international children's camp—"Artek"—on the sea. And see for yourself: in the Soviet Union, everyone is for peace and friendship among peoples.

Thank you for your letter. I wish you all the best in your young life.

Y. Andropov

Samantha Smith and her father were killed in a plane crash in August 1985. Please read more about her impressive, too short life here.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Only Honest Boomer Evahhh

We appreciate your candor. Now please work on the other 80 million of you.

“Blame me. Blame the entire boomer generation. We had it all and we squandered it all on ourselves.”

In need of a speed fix

No, not the kind of speed I once bought from a 'big boned' girl prescribed to help her drop a few.

The Toyota Supra. Forever my guilty desire. Say bye-bye Lamborghini.

Obviously, this car is far from stock. Yet, I don't think Toyota had any idea how easy it would be to tune this V6 from 300HP to over 1000HP with a 5K aftermarket turbo system.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Strange Connections in my Head

Anytime there's a hurricane threat the 1st thought I have is "what kind waves will it create". The 2nd thought is "of all that I read, Steve Gilliard wrote the most memorable piece on Hurricane Katrina".

Although Steve was a huge supporter of my primary blog, Operation Yellow Elephant, I wasn't fortunate enough to know him. He passed away shortly after I began contributing at OYE.

I took issue with a good many of Steve's posts, but so fucking what? No one, and I mean no one, could put angry thoughts into coherent rants better than Gilly.

We have been screaming for two years that Bush and his team sucked. That they had no clue. They sent soldiers to be wounded in Iraq without armored anything. And you idiots cheered him on from the safety of your keyboards. We told you he was fucking up Iraq. But no, we supported Saddam, we were racist, we blamed America.

You say this isn't about politics? Fuck you, this IS politics, real time, real life politics, where the insanity of all your ideas are exposed to the world for the fraud that they are. Tax cuts kill. Ask the relatives of the dead of the Gulf Coast.

Well, motherfuckers, the alligators are feasting on dead nigger and there isn't an Iraqi in sight. And Bush is trying to gladhand his way through a mess which has stunned FOX reporters. I mean, Shepard Smith is calling Fox's talking heads liars ON THE AIR.

Steve's entire post is here.

RIP, dude.

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Hurrican't

My Coastie bud is correct- the local gov-ment is making this a mandatory evacuation for the "A level" areas because of an over-ambitious thunderstorm. This is the effect Hurricane Katrina will have on coastal governments over the next decade or so- no one wants to be the next Ray Nagin (Mayor of New Orleans) or having Geraldo Rivera get dropped into their city to 'rescue' elderly peeps live on Fox News.

In one of my not-so-brilliant ideas in life I decided to stay put during a more legitimate evac back in '03. I was like, "fuck it, I ain't leavin' mah home".....and then the electric company, not the storm, cut off the power. Then I was like "fuck it, I'm leavin' mah home".......I got in my car, drove to the drawbridge that takes me to the mainland and then discovered that the local gov-ment closed the bridge. So, me, your favorite dumbass returned home, defeated. The Florida summer heat didn't let up that night and the wind was too strong to open a window. My nuts stuck to my leg for a week afterward.

What I'm most disappointed in is no waves from this storm that won't go out to sea....

One day my dream wave will come into the Gulf of Mexico. And I'll be ready:

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Let the panic begin

Goddamit! A weak dicked hurricane looks like it's gonna force me outta my home. The official announcement hasn't come, I was tipped off from a Coast Guard dude that rents a place close to mine. It's not as though the wind speed is gonna be horrific, it's just that the recent high tides combined with the storm swell will possibly push the water up high enough where I can ride a jet ski downtown.

They better at least give me a chance to catch a few waves so I can enjoy a rare surf on Florida's west coast.

Coincidentally, this is the first metal riff I ever learned and a rite of passage for any azzhole that's picked up a guitar.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Protest Like You Mean It

During my junior year of high school we saw what I considered to be the bravest man I'd seen in my first 17 years. The "Unknown Rebel" stood in front of a tank column in Beijing a day after the Chinese government squashed the pro-Democracy protests in Tiananmen Square. Thousands of the activists were killed.

The young, mostly students, were beyond impressive, with sincerity behind their convictions. They weren't about growing their hair long, dropping acid and hitting a 3 foot bong. They were about creating change. It's too bad a repressive government always seems to defeat noble intentions. And sadly, China was rewarded with the Summer Olympics less than 20 years after their government killed off their finest citizens.

Monday, August 11, 2008

A Whirled Away

Gen X seems to get much more respect Down Unda:

That could be a generational thing. Generation X has emerged in a far more volatile, dynamic and global environment than its predecessors. Those born in the mid-1960s and beyond take it for granted that their environment is both global and fluid. As a broad generalisation, they appear more comfortable with uncertainty than those who grew up within far more regulated, stable and insular settings.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Soundtrack in Hell

In the 80's the Goth movement was largely comprised of Joy Division and The Cure fans. The kind of kids who obviously wore black, stared at their shoes, and were hopelessly depressed. Often Goths would become angry if you told them you were also a fan of those bands. They'd dismiss someone like me (metalhead jock) by saying something condescending like "you don't understand their music". They were a lot like the Radiohead fans of today.

......but then some evil music entered their world.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Whoa, someone actually published another book about Gen X.

"Slackonomics: Generation X in the Age of Creative Destruction" aims to get beyond "supercapitalism," a term the author uses for the market consequences that enhance individual choice but threaten the common good.

Chamberlain's analysis conflates supercapitalism -- a term coined by Robert Reich, former U.S. labor secretary -- and the notion of creative destruction articulated by Joseph Schumpeter, an early 20th-century economist. He called creative destruction the "essential fact about capitalism," adding it "incessantly revolutionizes the economic structure from within."

Monday, August 4, 2008

Hip Hop History

Before the Geto Boys there only seemed to be NYC rappers and South Central rappers. If the Geto Boys opened the door for the rest, Outkast bum-rushed the room.

and the Dirty South emerged....

Sunday, August 3, 2008

"You are all fucked and overrated"

Slipknot headlined a slippery, sick mess of Metal this week in W. Florida. They've made a lot of money calling out 'Generation Whine', but the youngin's keep on buying their albums.