Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Since the U.S. is out of the World Cup

I'll now pull for Paraguay.
Larissa Riquelme, a curvy lingerie model who loves her national team, has been cheering the Paraguay squad on from Asuncion, clad in revealing outfits. The 24-year-old beauty has pledged to run naked through the streets "with my body painted with the colors of Paraguay" if Paraguay wins the World Cup.

In the can

Makes me feel like a loser for sniffing airplane glue as a kid.
When a Naples police officer arrived, he found Mckeever in the fetal position in a chair, unconscious, unresponsive and in pain, according to an arrest report. She was clutching a can of dust remover and sitting in a puddle of her own vomit.

Mckeever was transported to the hospital for medical clearance, and then arrested. She said "she had consumed duster in an attempt to get high," reports said.

Glug-glug. Vroom-Vroom!

Vince got a DUI. And OMG! OMG! OMG! he was wearing the same shirt he partied in a few days prior.

Lauryn Hill's Return

She stayed away for too long.
Lauryn Hill made a huge impact on the music scene when she broke out from the Fugees and went solo with her acclaimed 1998 debut The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. Already a bona fide star with the New Jersey hip-hop trio, the husky-voiced rapper and singer launched into the pop culture stratosphere with Miseducation, which soared to the top of the charts. The album went on to score a record-setting five Grammy Awards, and Hill became one of the biggest artists in the world.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Forgot to put it in the mail

A rare occurrence. A rich person that GOT CAUGHT not paying taxes. Time for a new accountant, Meth.
Last year, it was reported that Method Man was arrested for Tax Evasion, failing to pay almost $33,000.

Facing up to four years in prison if convicted of felony Repeated Failure to File Personal Income and Earnings Tax, TMZ reports that Meth has entered a guilty plea to one count of misdemeanor Attempted Failure to Pay Taxes.

This wave means goodbye

If he was a boomer he'd stick around til he's 70.
Lance Armstrong has posted on his Twitter page that this year's Tour de France will be his last.

"It's been a great ride. Looking forward to 3 great weeks," Armstrong tweeted Monday.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Why can't I get just one fuck?

Actually azzhole, we're not too picky where we work now.

Easy to tell when an article is written by a baby boomer.
As my story Friday detailed, there has been much concern over a shrinking talent pool within Gen X to replace the baby-boomer generation of city managers.

But the generational problems in the talent pool don't stop with Gen Xers. Generation Y has even less interest in serving their communities through local governments.

Service-mined members of Generation Y would rather work in the profit sector, said Frank Benest, a retired city manager who works with the International City/County Management Association on solutions to the problem.

He doesn't suck. Really.

Much better than the CNBC hacks who are nothing more than Wall Street Welfare Queens.
All this from a man who, until recently, hosted a stock-picking show on CNBC, the cable personification of Wall Street. Now Mr. Ratigan, who labels himself a taxpayer advocate, rails against the “vampire” banks who “have assumed control of our government.”

“It’s like being the guy who was running the casino, and then having an awakening and realizing that the casino is what’s killing the country,” Mr. Ratigan said in an interview last week.

In news for lousy reasons

Goddamn prescription drugs.
Jennifer Capriati, 34, the South Florida tennis star whose battle with drugs and personal problems made headlines in the mid-1990s, remained hospitalized Monday after an overdose of prescription medications early Sunday morning.

Capriati family spokeswoman Lacey Wickline told the Associated Press on Monday that Capriati was ``recovering fully and stably'' in a South Florida hospital.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

DAVE! DAVE! DAVE! Sammy sucks!!!!!

Shouldn't have 'friended' the Child Welfare Dept.

Fire it up, man.
Child welfare authorities are investigating a shocking Facebook photo of a Florida baby clutching a bong.

The 11-month-old boy can be seen sitting with his legs around the large glass pipe and his left hand around its neck.

Sweet Mugshot

Looks like the cops didn't let her put in her teeth. via: Fark
Tarpon Springs, FL -- A Tarpon Springs woman accused of running over her boyfriend with her car Saturday was in court to face attempted murder charges.

The judge ordered 58-year-old Kathy Wolanin held without bail. Police say she was following her boyfriend as he walked along Pinellas Avenue and tapped him with her car. He turned and hit the car's hood. Police say that's when Wolanin hit the gas and slammed into him on purpose, knocking him into the roadway, before taking off.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My Eddie Van Halen "Frankenstein" Replica

I bought a cheap Strat wannabe, stripped off the paint, and created my own "Frankenstrat" for less than $120 in parts and supplies. Doesn't stay in tune long, but it sounds surprisingly awesome with the pickup taken from a Jackson ghee-tar.

Sure he wasn't the victim?

You can show a movie on his forehead.
A 50-year-old man has been accused of stabbing another man with a screwdriver, and investigators said it may have been romantically motivated.

According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Brian Downing went to the 33-year-old male victim's house in the 9600 block of Brassie Court late Wednesday night, to find that he had another male friend visiting.

See, I don't hate all baby boomers

Get well soon, Gregg. Plus since I anticipate a liver transplant for myself at some point, I don't want karma to bite me on the tush.
Rock 'n' roll Hall of Famer Gregg Allman underwent a successful liver transplant surgery Wednesday morning at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Fla.

Allman's manager Michael Lehman told The Associated Press in a phone interview that Allman was groggy but awake Wednesday morning and that the co-founder of the seminal Southern rock group The Allman Brothers Band could be sitting up and on his feet by nightfall.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Marilyn Manson will get blamed for this

When Gothics plan murder and to jack your car we get awesome mugshots.

Florida whackos too close to home

I could walk there from my home. Literally wouldn't take me more than 15 minutes.
BELLEAIR BEACH — Everyone knows it's not safe to drink and drive. Better beware of drinking and getting on a pool float, too.

Especially if you're in the Gulf of Mexico.

The U.S. Coast Guard on Wednesday afternoon rescued a man on a pool float who had drifted about a mile out into the gulf.

The man, identified as Jerry Whipple, is "suspected of being extremely inebriated," said Petty Officer First Class Mariana O'Leary.

Guess Kurt did make an impact

I remember the media showing lots of upset little kiddies when Cobain put the business end of the shotgun in his mouth. It seemed so weird that a pre-teen identified with a punk band. Ahh, who am I kidding. I was a devastated 7th grader when Van Halen broke up.

HR: What is this stuff about Kurt Teixeira?

MT: You know what? When I was a kid I was a big Nirvana fan. And, uh, Kurt Cobain unfortunately passed away when I think I was in eighth grade. And when you're twelve or thirteen years old and your favorite band isn't gonna make any more music, you take it pretty tough. So, uh, I went by an alias for a little while.

HR: Yeah, your mom said... Mark's mom (on video): Mark tried to change his name to Kurt when he was, uh, because he loved Kurt Cobain when he filled our forms he would put, he would sign "Kurt Teixeira", so we had Kurt Teixeira things coming to the house for a while. I'd go, "what is this?" and it was because he had this thing for Kurt Cobain.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Long time no hear

No Ma, I haven't seen my brother

Surprised he didn’t pull the ole ‘roll him up in a carpet’ trick.
Detectives say Stanley Eckard told them he was choking his brother during a fight. When the two of them fell to the floor, Sean died.

Stanley says he checked his brother's pulse, then he decided he'd bury his brother's body. He told investigators he planned to move the body in a few weeks, when his parents were out of town.

Music Recycle Bin

DEVO takes a break from shuffleboard.
One of the fun Generation X bands performed on the Colbert Report last night. DEVO has a new album out called “Something for Everybody” and they paid Stephen Colbert a visit on his hit TV show.

Thought you just go buy a sportscar?

Midlife crisis tide washing over us.
It seemed like a familiar scenario: the stay-at-home mom with two young children. The Tribeca loft, the Wall Street husband. And, after less than a decade, the divorce. Those of us who knew her, if only casually, jumped to conclusions: "Typical finance jerk . . . up and leaves his wife."

But no, it turns out, she left him. She had an affair. And she's apparently much improved, complete with a new apartment, a new lover, even a new start-up company. At once exhilarating, gutsy and faintly embarrassing, the spectacle looked just like your classic midlife crisis.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This seems appropriate after the previous post (inappropriate, maybe)

They just found the body?

She died over a year ago, for christsakes.
A Fort Myers woman says she didn't call emergency responders when her mother lay dying in her home because the two thought they would lose the house if officials discovered its filthy condition.

Authorities believe they recently found the remains of Gladys Andrews in the home she shared with her 61-year-old daughter, Gail Andrews. They discovered the remains, which were hidden by garbage and furniture, after days of searching.

The Weasel

At least it's not a remake. Still, I'd sooner be found at an Eagles concert than in a theatre playing this.
90s star Pauly Shore, is trying to hustle up some celebrity points and get back in the game with his new comedy 'Adopted' and this time, unlike poking fun at his self in 'Pauly Shore Is Dead', Pauly Shore is getting all the funny off of the backs of two black children. This is just waiting to be a barrel of laughs. Adopted is the self-directed, straight-to-dvd film starring Pauly Shore as an Angelina Jolie/Madonna type figure going to South Africa, bumbling through the adoption process, crashing Oprah Winfrey's school and just overall being irreverent to what happens when pop culture celebrities meet face to face with charitable causes. The guys over at Huffington Post caught up with Pauly Shore to discuss the movie further, so here's some snippets of him making light of the situation:

Please kill me

Make it stop. Recycling should be for aluminum cans, not Gen X movies.
The good people at Pajiba are reporting 1991’s Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead is the next up in a seemingly never-ending list of Hollywood “re-imaginings.” The project is early in its development, and is just now going out to writers. I can’t wait to see which nobody steps up to transfer the campy dialogue back to the page and calls it an update.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

When rich Hipsters start a band....

Get a thesaurus

The term naval gazing is becoming way overused in describing us.
Greenberg is a believable and considered film about the ageing Generation X, preoccupied with self-fulfillment, therapy and political correctness. It shows a world filled with the people that the term ‘the worried well’ was invented for. But you get the feeling that rather than recognizing the limits that this navel-gazing generation’s lifestyle has come up against, Baumbach is trying to salvage it.

You better run, you better hide!

Another book from an 80's musician. Fine, whatever. Better than another Woodstock coffee table book getting published.

Monday, June 14, 2010


How the fuck do these things happen to people?

And why is it always in Florida?
ISLAMADORA, Fla. -- Deputies responding to a 911 call in the Florida Keys made an unusual find: A man trapped in a recliner chair after the stuffed head of a water buffalo fell on him.

The Monroe County Sheriff's Office says dispatchers received a call early Friday from a man who could only yell his address and tell operators that he was crushed.

When deputies arrived at the home, they discovered the man trapped in his recliner chair. He had apparently fallen asleep and woken up when the head of a water buffalo, hanging on a wall, fell on his lap.

They don't even make any good porn movies anymore, either

When GenX made independent films we kicked some creative ass. Now that we have Hollywood in our control we're about as creative as a hot dog with no toppings.
There is an upside to all this Gen-X navel-gazing. Namely, it means the Baby Boomers are finally losing their 40-year grip on Hollywood. Mercifully, the Summer of 2010 features precisely zero films about Vietnam, Woodstock, Nixon, JFK, Motown, or the Apollo space program. But while infinitely less self-congratulatory than their Boomer predecessors, Hollywood X'ers are seem just as fond of nostalgia and no more prone to original thought. The only difference is which decade is mined for material. Instead of remaking 60's and 70's favorites like The Beverly Hillbillies and Dragnet, studios now rehash '80s favorites. The The Karate Kid, for instance, which opened well this weekend, and The A-Team, which did not—probably because Bradley Cooper is about as macho as RuPaul and far less charming. Here's what you have to look forward to for the rest of the summer:

Human Pinyata

Bam gets slammed.
The former Jackass, Viva La Bam and Bam's Unholy Union star was allegedly assaulted by a woman wielding a baseball bat around 2AM on Saturday near his The Note club in West Chester, PA, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported.

Elizabeth Ray was subsequently arrested and charged with aggravated assault, West Chester Police told the Inquirer, which added Margera spent the night at the hospital with a head injury

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Where'd you go weekend? I hardly got to know ya.

Work is for kids. Trix are for kids, too.

I've never considered myself a "career oriented" dude, but I found it at least mildly offensive for older goons to call us slackers. I mowed and raked a lot of lawns between the ages of 12 to 18. Sucky work that paid me between $4 to $7 an hour (depending on my age).

I suppose the older generations saw our activities like playing video games and skate boarding as lazy and disregarded the possibility that we, as children, had to actually pay for the Atari cartridges and skateboards with our own loot.
When Douglas Coupland's book, Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture, was first published, there were newspaper reports about how Gen X was a slacker generation with no direction. This was not at all how I saw myself or my many friends. Many of us had jobs, and had been working since we were 15 (when the laws were less strict). My graduating high school class was filled with smart, creative and athletic people who were thankfully some of the most competitive people I've ever met.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Some days I sit and wish I was a kid again

I was standing by the Nile

Good choice.
ANGELINA JOLIE is reportedly set to play Cleopatra in a new movie she is developing about the legendary Egyptian queen.

The Tomb Raider star is set to follow in the footsteps of Dame Elizabeth Taylor by playing the ancient beauty in a new film based on author Stacy Schiff's biography Cleopatra: A Life.

We've all consumed worse

Sounds like a jug of McDonald's special sauce.
Destin Fire Control District Fire Chief Kevin Sasser confirmed the road closure, saying that the HAZMAT team responded to the residence after receiving a call from two individuals who had reported having trouble breathing and burning eyes. The pair, who complained of the smell, were inspecting the home.

“We didn’t know what we were going to find,” Sasser said of the incident, “so that
is why we responded with the HAZMAT team.”

After entering the residence, Sasser said the team had come across a “large barrel” that was left by the previous occupants, and it contained a “five-gallon container” of mayonnaise.

“It had started to degrade, and rot,” he said. “And that is what was
causing the problems.”

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Classic Hunter S. Thompson

I dialed the phone # he left and got a VM.

Wonder if they'll make it available for Sega consoles?

Since every movie we grow up with is getting retro'd in some manner, I suppose B.T.T.F is the next likely film. But making it a video game? Don't get it.

So tough being single

Actually, no it's not. Especially if you're Stamos. He doesn't just chase wimmin, he catches them.
“It’s hard to feel sorry for John because he has it all — good looks, money and talent. And he’s always got all these beautiful women around him , but he can’t sustain a relationship,” a source told American tabloid the National Enquirer.

“The one thing he wants more than anything else is to fall in love again.

“John’s pretty much played the field since his divorce. He’s never lacked for female companionship. But he’s getting older. And he wants to settle down and have kids.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Do they have to wax their belly?

Worse than sharks.
How did the world's largest living reptile, the saltwater crocodile, reach so many South Pacific islands separated by huge stretches of water despite being a poor swimmer?

Apparently, like a surfer catching a wave, these goliaths can ride currents on the ocean surface to cross large areas of open sea, researchers now reveal.

Fuck hotdogs and soda

...not far from mah home

In retrospect he'll wish he remained silent.
While the officer gathered paperwork for the investigation, Bukowski said "I choked her," the report states.

"I asked him why he did it and he stated 'If you were married, you would understand,'" the officer wrote

When will Hollywood recycle these movies, too?

I'm just oh-so-joyful that these films are being remembered, really I am, since they deserve to be, but lets hope they don't get cheapened by a cheesy remake like the Karate Kid.

Anyway Listen to Bookslut.

And thus springs the central thesis of You Couldn’t Ignore Me if You Tried, the latest in a recent trilogy of Generation X nostalgia volumes from the disaffected (now middle-aged) youth who defined an era of irony and cynicism. (The prior two Gen-X manifestos, Lizzie Skurnick's Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading, and Marisa Meltzer's Girl Power: The Nineties Revolution in Music, each tackle teen fiction and ‘90s rock, respectively, allowing You Couldn’t Ignore Me to round out the pop cultural triad by bringing a discussion on Gen-X film to a table already stacked with books and music.) Written by Susannah Gora, a revered film critic and the former editor of Premier magazine, You Couldn’t Ignore Me is a deeply researched, high-cultural analysis of the type usually found amongst the best in academia, all the while composed in a thoughtful, tongue-in-cheek narrative that lends a certain amount of relaxed and streetwise gusto to Gora’s prose, easily befitting any quintessential Hughes (or Hughes-ian) script.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

In the meantime

Zombie Escape Plan

Odd things happen in my state, so I found this perfectly acceptable. I hope I'm around to give out an "I told you so". Go Zombie Gators!
GAINESVILLE, Fla. - The University of Florida's response plans for a zombie apocalypse are no longer available for public consumption.

University spokesman Steve Orlando said Friday the university removed a link to a disaster recovery exercise, which detailed how the school could respond to an outbreak of the undead. The link was taken down late Thursday afternoon.

Another example of why "WHAT IF'S" suck

Some fool envisions a very baby boomer ending had Kurt Cobain and Andrew Wood survived.
To elaborate, during that decade’s former half, Seattle was busting at the seams with a musical movement far more chaotic than anything that generation had ever seen. Sub Pop Records became an epicenter for the spearheading grunge band Nirvana; elsewhere, a fallen band known as Mother Love Bone splintered off following the death of frontman Andrew Wood, thus culminating in a few remaining members seeking out new vocals (from Eddie Vedder) and forming Pearl Jam.

When grunge music came to a slow fade after Cobain’s death in 1995 and the dwindling tour successes of Pearl Jam toward ‘96, we here in the time of Creed (again) and Puddle of Mudd pondered the possible pasts and futures of a different world originating via Generation X. A world apart from our own, where not only had Kurt Cobain lived a much longer and more fruitful existence, but perhaps Pearl Jam never existed. For better or worse? You decide.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I'd rather be forgotten than overrated

Learning to embrace one's inner cynic.
Perhaps this is just another Gen. X cop-out.

Our cohort doesn’t get much media attention.

Remember when Baby Boomers hit middle age? The media couldn’t stop talking about it.

Recall any articles on Generation X?

There is one, actually. “Gen-X has a mid-life crisis,” by the New York Times’ A.O. Scott.

Scott, himself a Gen-Xer, reviews several books and movies about this milestone. None of these works have been popular. There’s no “Forrest Gump” or “Big Chill” for our crowd.

So what does all this mean? This over-generalizing the generations?

Not much.

Knowing when to step down

Ken Griffey Jr. retires quietly, with dignity still intact.
Maybe it's a generational thing, but for those of us in our late 20s and early 30s, didn't it feel like we got about 10 years older last night? Ken Griffey Jr. retired at the age of 40, ending a sure-fire Hall of Fame career and, in a way, closing a chapter of baseball history in the process.

This fucking oil spill

Since we all know that TV pundits and politicians know more about science than actual scientists this can’t possibly be true. (via Atrios)
The National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) just released this horrifying animation of how ocean currents may carry all the oil in the Gulf of Mexico. According to their computer modeling of currents and the oil, the spill "might soon extend along thousands of miles of the Atlantic coast and open ocean as early as this summer."

"I've had a lot of people ask me, 'Will the oil reach Florida?'" says NCAR scientist Synte Peacock in a statement accompanying the animation, which he worked on. "Actually, our best knowledge says the scope of this environmental disaster is likely to reach far beyond Florida, with impacts that have yet to be understood."

This just made me laugh

The Festival of Ignorance

Pics from Redneck Yacht Club.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

In case you missed this 90's awesomeness

Sebastian Inlet last week

I hope she sells 5M copies of this book

Expect a huge double standard backlash. Media azzholes are more inclined to give male bands a pass for drug induced slutty-ish behavior.
Belinda Carlisle, the lead singer with the Go-Go’s before going solo and dominating the charts with her song “Heaven Is A Place On Earth.” Belinda spent most of her life fighting her weight and being addicted to drugs and alcohol. In 2005 she was finally able to get her life under control and stop using drugs and alcohol.

Belinda reveals that a three-day binge on cocaine is what finally caused her to hit bottom and get clean. She hallucinated that she had died and it scared her so badly she woke up from the dream and determined to get her life back and stop using drugs. Luckily, she was able to succeed. shit

A little late to the game wondering why Gen X isn’t in many leadership positions. So what anyway? I'm always skeptical of people that look to 'lead' or even say the word "career" with a straight face.
Nearly 90 percent of the world's top 200 firms are currently led by boomers (born from 1946–1964) or an older generation. The few others are led by a Gen Xer (born from 1965–1979). As a Gen Xer, this makes me wonder why.

Fortunately, a boomer recently completed research to provide the answer. Gen Xers believe boomers will never retire — and if they do, they seek a Generation Y replacement (born from 1980–1995) at lower compensation to "mold" them into a similar way of thinking as the boomer (their words, not mine).

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Paul Gray 1972 - 2010

DIO a week ago and now this

RIP #2.
Paul Gray, 38, bassist and founding member of the Grammy Award-winning band Slipknot, was found dead May 24 at a hotel in his home town of Des Moines. The cause of death was under investigation.

Slipknot, a heavy-metal band known for an intense, thrashing style of play, macabre masks and visceral stage antics, won a Grammy in 2006 for best metal performance for the song "Before I Forget." The band has been known for extreme behavior during live performances, including urinating and vomiting onstage, according to biographies.

After the boomers are through with Earth

Passing out in the driveway

Not advised.
According to the FHP, Sean Vitarelli, 23, of Englewood, had turned off his car's lights when entering the driveway to avoid disturbing people sleeping inside. He did not see the victim lying in the driveway.

No charges have been filed in the case. The victim was in critical condition.

Gen Y is weird

Oh well, more cars for me then.
Ford Motor Co. sees the trend as well, which is why it has introduced features such as Sync in its cars. "I don't think the car symbolizes freedom to Gen Y to the extent it did baby boomers, or to a lesser extent, Gen X-ers," said Sheryl Connelly, global trends and futuring manager. "Part of it is that there are a lot more toys out there competing for the hard-earned dollars of older teens and young adults."