Thursday, October 29, 2009

I think he shaved off his brain

Stupid GenXster. Billy Corgan goes anti-vaccine.

You know, I'd probably listen to Billy in regards to alternate tuning and amp settings for guitar, but I'd have to tell him "have a nice day" when he begins offering me medical advice. Really, if anyone listens to him they probably deserve the Swine Flu.

Full disclosure: I have not been vaccinated for N1H1 and it's not because Billy Corgan said not to. Nope. It's because Jenny McCarthy told me not to!

Normally I hate covers. Not this one. the Yanks lost last night

Which makes the likelihood of them now winning the World Series slim.
Since the 1994 strike, the winner of Game 1 of the World Series has gone on to win the series 12 out of 14 times.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Didn't quite 'measure up'

Sorry ladies, don't try to have your husband/boyfriend arrested for being 3 inches too short.
James Mathew Kennedy, of the 1000 block of 27th Avenue Southwest, took the AR15-type rifle into the gun show, where he went to buy parts, officials said. They gave this account: The rifle had a barrel length about three inches shorter than is allowed without first going through a lengthy federal approval process.

Note to self

Use this excuse for everything.
A Florida man accused of killing his son-in-law in New Jersey is arguing that he was unable to commit the crime because he was too fat.

When Edward Ates takes the stand in his defense Wednesday, he's expected to tell jurors he wouldn't have had the energy needed to climb and descend the staircase where prosecutors say the killer was perched when he shot Paul Duncsak, a 40-yearold pharmaceutical executive, in 2006.

Gen X in Sweden sounds a lot like Gen X in The States

For as much as GenXsters differ I still get a communal feeling with others that have had to endure the babyboomers' calculated insults.
Lazy, self-entitled and spoiled. These are just a few of the choice adjectives employed to describe the generation born in the 1980s, the first generation since Hemingway's to be characterised as “lost.” But how accurate is this stereotype and, moreover, are members of the 80s generation really to blame for Sweden's ailing job market, asks The Local's Charlotte Webb.

We're forever a fickle bunch of assholes

Dave breaks down what other marketers don't seem to have a clue about.
One of the biggest shifts is the focus on family. Gen Xers grew up in a world that was not particularly interested in kids (during the '60s and '70s) and spent young adulthood trying to find their own way (in the '80s and '90s). They are, as a rule, a fairly independent bunch and don't believe that institutions or groups really have their best interest in mind.

But as this pragmatic and individualist generation is now well into the age of parenthood, some of their values are shifting.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tie Dyed Coffins?

I don't care how they go into the ground. I just want them in it ASAP.
Lately, he has been getting requests for personalized funerals all the time, as baby boomers “come of age,’’ as he puts it. Boomers were raised to have it their way. It is an attitude they take with them to the grave. And it has required funeral directors to evolve. They still need to be as staid and straight-laced as ever, someone people will entrust with the most sensitive of human transactions. But they need to be a lot more open-minded about how to do

Hope it creates a better surf break

Whelp, it appears Tampa will one day become a great snorkeling destination.
We all know the Tampa Bay area is notoriously inept at short or long-range planning. Most would rather work on their tans, or try to forget that nasty divorce up north, than do the heavy lifting required to intelligently plan for our region’s future.

When Zonkeys attack

Uhhhh........what's a zonkey??
BROOKSVILLE, FL -- What do you get when you cross a zebra with a donkey? James Oleson says you'll get knocked to the ground and bitten.

Monday, October 26, 2009

jus' wanted to say

The Yankees win! Thhhhhhhuuuuuu Yankees win!!

Tampa gettin' some props

Great scene for a time. But they always end as quickly as they seem to begin.
Seattle has grunge, and the Bronx has hip-hop but Tampa lays claim to the cradle of hardcore death metal.

Iconic bands like Death, Deicide, Morbid Angel and Obituary — all of whom rank among the world's top-selling death metal bands — came out of the Tampa Bay area in the early 1980s. Cannibal Corpse moved their home base from New York to Tampa just to be part of the emerging scene. Worldwide, the style born here pushed the limits lyrically, vocally and musically, directly influencing artists like Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, Hatebreed and Korn.

And another Gen X fuck-up

This is like a modern day Brewster's Millions stunt.
Several National Basketball Association sources, among them friends and former teammates of Walker’s, said the 33-year-old player may well have squandered much of his $110 million-plus in career earnings. Without a team or contract as the new NBA season begins Tuesday, they’ve heard that Walker is casting about for cash to pay off his debts and is looking to catch on with a team, perhaps even overseas.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Yeah, I've gone to this before. Don't give me any shit.

This is kinda like a Deliverence family reunion. If these are the special guests I do not rec'd outsiders showing up.
One of the highlights of the weekend will be the chance to see the world’s largest traveling collection of Lynyrd Skynyrd memorabilia, including the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame trophy, as well as stage apparel, guitars, gold records and other exclusive items. Present to greet fans and sign autographs will be Lee Wilkeson, musician and son of Lynyrd Skynyrd bassist Leon Wilkeson; Gene Odom, childhood friend of the bandmates and head of security for Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Rolling Stones; Marlene Wilkeson Lusk, sister of bassist Leon; and Mitch Simmons, musician and nephew of bassist Wilkeson.

RIP Cassette Tape

One of the most repulsive kids in my neighborhood (although very funny) recorded every fart he let loose during 5th grade. I wonder if he converted that to disc?
If the boomers grew up on the album and the Gen-Yers grew up on the CD, Gen-X certainly was weaned on the cassette. And while it’s evident that there is certainly a market for vinyl, and there is a pretty good chance that the CD will experience a similar, if nowhere nearly as intense revival when it eventually goes away, one thing is certain: there is no such nostalgic feeling for cassettes.

If I caught one of these I'd throw my pole down and never go near the H2O again

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

It's quiet in here. I can change that.

They'll probably put their college tuition on credit cards, too

I swear to Satan that if you cleverly advertised panther piss, Gen Y would buy it.
But here's the statistic that really floored me: Gen Y shoppers spend five times more than their parents did at the same age, and that's after adjusting for inflation. Five times!

"Generation Y is changing retail in a way we haven't seen before," Yarrow said. "I was naive when I started this. They have much more power than I thought."

Another GenX Fuck-up

Wow. If you're gonna run around on your spouse at least make sure she's pretty enough to not have to walk around on a leash.
ESPN analyst Steve Phillips had a fling with a 22-year-old production assistant, who, after being dumped, taunted his wife with "Fatal Attraction"-like phone calls and a letter that bragged about her sexcapades with Phillips while taking pot shots at their "loveless marriage," The Post has learned.

Yay Ashley!

A list of the Top 100 Googled girls came out and my favorite Xster, Ashley Judd, landed at # 100.

Lopez was back in town!

Oh shit, I didn't know Cory Lopez was back in town over the last weekend. He's, without question, the greatest surfer from Florida's gulf coast. The times I've seen him in the H2O I just sat on my board and watched. He makes everyone else look like fools. Kinda like playing basketball against Lebron.

Here's a sample:

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I should have mentioned

I'm a worthless blogger when the Yankees are in the playoffs.

10 to 1 over the team with the most pathetic tapeworm fans in all of MLB. What's with the mountain in their outfield, and thunder sticks, and being the 'other' team in Los Angeles, and that dopey Rally Monkey they used to have (apologies to Angels fans. I'm just anxious to finally beat your team in the playoffs for the first time this decade)?

Quick vent: Tim MacCarver and Joe Buck are unbearable. I'd rather have my ear against a diesel muffler than listen to them call a game. When is the Fox contract with MLB going to expire?

Also no more stealing bases for the Yankees. You only get 27 outs per game. Treat them each with respect, like each is a kilo of cocaine.

Good night!

He didn't 'Obey'

The nearly year-old legal dispute centers on Fairey’s iconic Obama Hope poster, which he based on of the photos of President Barack Obama taken in April 2006 by AP photographer Mannie Garcia at the National Press Club.

Fairey had long claimed he based his abstract graphic rendition on a photo of Obama seated next to actor George Clooney. In court documents (.pdf) filed Friday, Fairey admitted he actually used a solo shot of Obama from the same event, and had destroyed and fabricated evidence to
support his lie.

Phew! I got off cheap.

How do today's students afford drugs and alcohol?
Average tuition at four-year public colleges rose 6.5 percent, or $429, to $7,020 this fall, according to the College Board's annual "Trends in College Pricing" report, released Tuesday. At private colleges, the average list price for a year of coursework rose 4.4 percent to $26,273.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Can't miss teevee for me

Tuesday 20th October @ 9PM EST

Scumbags. All of them.

Random Thought

Today I looked around at all the shit I own. If I were to croak tonight I'm sure most of my possessions will end up being carted off by the trash dudes or college students that think Best Western is a quality resort. Outside of my guitar, motorcycle and the fun car I can't think of a thing anyone would want since it's mostly cheaply built, over priced furniture and household items that encourage me to buy another when they die after a years time. Even my surfboard is beat to hell, and that cost me a bundle.

What happened to quality? Or, maybe should I ask, how much do you now have to pay for quality?

There are possessions my Mom has from relatives she wasn't around to ever meet and they seem to be holding up fine. Not so much with my junk.

Julie, Naked

A book about Xsters? No way!
"Juliet, Naked," explores Hornby's usual themes with an ambitious strategy using three characters, all of them members of an aging Generation X.

Duncan is 40-something, living in a small seaside town in England and working as a media instructor in the lower rungs of higher education. He's also an earnest, pompous and self-appointed expert on the subject of Tucker Crowe, an American 1980s singer-songwriter who's been in hiding for 22 years — the J.D. Salinger of the Top 40.

The book begins with Duncan's vacation, an obsessive Tucker Crowe pilgrimage to the United States. Duncan thrills at standing in front of the San Francisco home of Julie Beatty, the long-ago girlfriend of Crowe who inspired his greatest album, "Juliet."


I'm not alone!
Many 20- to 30-year-olds are defying their generation of tweeters and friendsters by holding out on the digital craze of social networking Web sites, The Washington Post reported.

Among them is Tomek Kott, a 25-year-old physics graduate who staunchly refuses to join Facebook.

"I am old-school in the personal touch way," Kott told the paper. He says Facebook is a waste of time.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

We had surf (finally)


A lot more cocksuckery

A few weeks back Paul Sullivan of the New York Times wrote possibly the most obnoxious article on the plight of the super wealthy in this tough economy. You know, them having to make tough decisions like having to budget for their next vacation home purchase or buy a slower private jet. The real difficult decisions we all have to make (wink, wink).

For obvious reasons he received a lot of comments that hurt his widdle feelings. So what did he do? He doubled down on being an asshole and basically said "you're all jealous, and the only reason you're not rich is because you don't want to work hard".

Fortunately No More Mister Nice Blog took out his scalpel and removed this man's genitals (apparently the procedure didn't take very long).

Thursday, October 15, 2009

They'll get what they want. You'll see

The old goons are getting their blue hair all mussed up about not getting a cost-of-living adjustment to their Social Security.

Cost-of-living adjustment? There hasn't been any inflation so I'm failing to see what needs adjusting?

Oh well, just put it on future generations' credit cards and set the interest rate to 20%.

What? A car company marketing to us?

Turn your 'lame detectors' up to eleven when the adds start rolling. I have a feeling you'll sooner see GenXsters revert back to hitchhiking before we shuffle into a Lincoln dealership.
With the aggressive styling of the new MKT and a complete lineup across the Lincoln brand, Ford executives say they see an opportunity to draw to the brand younger buyers who are members of Generation X, born in the 1960s and 1970s.Through September, Lincoln's sales have declined 28.5%, which is better than the decline of 30.2% for all luxury vehicles, according to Autodata Corp.

RIP Cap'n Lou

"Captain" Lou Albano, whose career as a wrestler, wrestling manager and pop culture icon spanned six decades, died Wednesday at his home in upstate Carmel. The colorful loudmouth, who starred as Cyndi Lauper's father in the music video for "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," was 76. He died of natural causes.

"In our wrestling business, there are very few people who have that special charm. Captain was one of them," said Jim Myers, who, as wrestler George "The Animal" Steele, was managed for years by Albano. "He was just a natural cartoon character."

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I miss Dimebag

Not only did he play a savage guitar, he also liked destruction. Although his sledgehammer swings could have used a little work.

I think I can swing it....

Actually, not. But it is a really good deal.
That's a lot of coin to be sure, but in the spirit of pulling together to ride out this whole "recession" thing, Lamborghini is looking to ease the blow of $7,000 per month financing with a new 0% offer for the 2009 and 2010 MurciƩlago coupe and roadster. The Italian supercar maker is offering 0% for up to 60 months for customers with credit scores over 740 and down payments somewhere north of 10% (the press release doesn't provide an exact number).

What did I want to be when I grew up? Everything they're not.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Of all the stupid things I saw in the '90's

I'm wondering how I missed the Wunder Boner (no, it's not a precursor to Viagra).

I'll have to check if any are floating around Ebay.

Would be good for Florida's economy

I hope this goes through. Does anyone younger than Stonehenge really hold a grudge? Shit, we deal with Vietnam now and they killed nearly 60,000 soldiers/Marines/sailors/airmen. (via Atrios)
A powerful campaign to allow all Americans to travel to Cuba is rumbling through Congress, with both backers and opponents predicting eventual victory and a Cuban American Senator holding a key vote.

Approval of the measures would have a profound impact on U.S.-Cuba relations, unleashing an estimated one million American tourists to visit the island and undermining White House control of policy toward Havana.

I'm sure this study was a surprise to many

But not if you're a regular reader of Latchkey Man.
(CBS) A survey of 30 cities conducted by Travel and Leisure magazine ranked Miami number one for attractive people, but 29th for intelligence, followed only by Las Vegas.

Scary to think how dumb they must be in Vegas. Safe to say that the cure for cancer will not come from FL or Nevada.

But I'm not like either one of them?

Just another small example of Gen X being forgotten between the boomers and millenials. Apparently we are the "gap".

Monday, October 12, 2009

Things aren't going well with Florida State Football (oh well)

Using the whole fist, Doc?

It's the babyboomers house, the entire thing, we just pay the bills.
“I did the math and decided I’d take the penalty on my Social Security benefits,” says Langston, who plans to apply for benefits early next year. He stands to lose at least 6 percent of his benefits by taking them before reaching his full retirement age of 66.


I'm really grateful to have listened to college radio in the 80's/90's. If you missed it, then all I can say is "sorry sucka, but whatever you dialed on the radio was a menstrual chunk in comparison"!
The humanistic side of Nine Inch Nails captures lyrically a glimpse of a potent generation who arrived too late for the party that was the ‘80s, and too early for a near–future apocalyptic ending that some seemed to be waiting for with baited breath. From the beginning, Nine Inch Nails embraced a dark thematic cynicism characterized by this bleak, hollow search for meaning.Like many of his contemporaries, Reznor’s lyrical standpoint resonated with the question of control and belonging. His words echo with the bitter elixir of someone who does not fit in, but still struggles with the essential hierarchies of ‘80s American life: religion, government and society. The institutions of church, state, and camaraderie that had once been the mainstays of a homogenous, seemingly happy “morning” in America were now greeted with a backlash of suspicion. As Nine Inch Nails’ generation grasped blindly for self-identity in individualism, the band’s lyrical invectives against the traditional apparatuses of love, popularity, faith, and obedience rang with a most ‘90s detachment.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

"I didn't have to blast him, but I did anyway.....

........young punk had to pay."

Another Lost Generation

I like to make fun of Gen Y. A lot. But right now they're hurting. I've witnessed this first hand with some of the young dudes that got canned from my place of employment. The ones I still speak with are still unemployed or very under-employed.
Bright, eager and unwanted. While unemployment is ravaging just about every part of the global workforce, the most enduring harm is being done to young people who can't grab onto the first rung of the career ladder.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Life at 253 MPH

I can't get enough of this car.....

I guess it's "Public Jack Off Week" in FL

High school boys like to be chased by girls........just not by 41 year old alcoholics.
According to the police report, Lewis was at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center. She began chasing two league football players, both under 16 years old. She told them she would catch them and then have sex with them.

She then walked between two picnic tables, pulled her pants down in front of both boys and inserted a tampon. The boys told police they looked away.

Lewis also laid on a picnic table and began masturbating in front of the boys. Ocala police said Lewis was intoxicated.

At some point, Lewis also attempted to grab the genitalia of another boy.

Lewis has nine previous arrests, include a Sept. 7 open container arrest.

Just what is his definition of "beyond"?

Weirdo. Wonder why he didn't just wait til he got home to pull on his weasel? Oh, he's in Florida. That's why.
This one was discovered by a woman who told Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies that she was leaving Bed, Bath and Beyond when she saw a sedan next to her car with its engine running. But she was unable to see anyone inside.

Top 10 Manliest Names

If I ever accidentally have a kid, and it turns out to be a male, I'll refer to this list for a name.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Bugatti Veyron

Baddest car between here and Pluto. 253 MPH top speed. It has a second key you insert to enable the car to unlock an additional 500 horsepower.

Thought he died?

Whoops. Nevermind. I was thinking of that good actor, River Phoenix.
Slater, who was a Generation X heartthrob on a fast track in the '80s, says he wouldn't change anything about his past because "You pull on one thread of tapestry and the whole thing can unravel."

However, he points out freely that drugs and drink "can create the illusion of being very cool, that drinking is the hip thing to do and that you'll seem like Clark Gable. You go to a party and have a drink and feel like a superhero when the truth is you're looking rather foolish. Showing up for life 24/ 7 straight and sober can be tough if you're riddled with insecurities. Actually, the fastest way of knowing who you are is to know who you're not."

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Forgot he sang this song

A.I.C. Releases New Album

You always had the sense that Layne was living on borrowed time. After the MTV Unplugged segment it became hard to put aside how badly he looked. So frail. Defenseless.
Los Angeles, Oct 6 (THAINDIAN NEWS) “Black Gives Way to Blue” is the first album of the grunge band ‘Alice in Chains’ since the untimely death of the band’s singer Layne Staley in 2002, from a heroin and cocaine overdose in 2002.

Another reason to visit FL

HMMMMM....Mako burgers
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- A massive shark was caught off the coast of Fort Lauderdale, and it was all captured on video.

A group of friends were fishing about 18 miles off the coast of Ft. Lauderdale Sunday when they stumbled across 10-foot-long, 750-pound shark feeding on a swordfish.


Take it easy, dude. Thanks for recognizing your talent, harnessing it, and helping us speed freaks go faster.
On the morning of October 4, the world lost an innovator in sport compact racing, Shaun Carlson. The NuFormz owner and fabricator extraordinaire had a genetic heart condition – however, it is unknown if the defect contributed to his death.

In more recent years, Carlson, 35, had been known for his lead on the Team MOPAR drift team, but his roots go all the way back to Truckin' and Turbo Magazine. Although he could shoot cars with the best of them, his talent in building them won out in the end. Carlson knocked the socks off the sport compact industry with the Honda CRX he created in collaboration with Jason Whitfield, but he really blew everyone away when he unveiled the world's first tube frame front-wheel drive Honda Civic. Driven by Stephan Papadakis, the car made the industry stand up and take notice that sport compact drag racing was a force to be reckoned with.

Monday, October 5, 2009


Clearly the administration that had this removed is suffering from a pre-zombie attack mindset. (HT: Sisu)
The University of Florida's response plans for a zombie apocalypse are no longer available for public consumption.

UF spokesman Steve Orlando said Friday the university removed a link to a disaster recovery exercise, which detailed how the school could respond to an outbreak of the undead.

I hate linking to business sites

(This guy will tell us Woodstock stories for another decade)

But I just want you to know how much babyboomers are fucking up our lives.
One out of every four U.S. workers will be 55 or older by 2016, as many of the 80 million baby boomers — persons born between 1946 and 1964 — need or want to hold on to their jobs.

That’s good news to companies that want to retain their seasoned talent, but not so good for the 46 million members of Generation X. Those 28- to 44-year-olds face what’s being called a gray ceiling, as employers will have to find ways to keep them moving up a company ladder where the higher rungs are already occupied.

We already accepted this a long time ago, azzhole.

BREAKING NEWS! Generation X hits middle age
Generation X, consumers of popular culture that they are, can be forgiven for feeling a little long in the tooth these days.

Many of them remember Bruce Springsteen's smash hit 'Dancing in the Dark,' which in the mid-'80s was a staple of early MTV, MuchMusic, and Gen X high school dances. He turned 60 a few days ago.

And that girl in the video -- Courteney Cox -- who would become a staple of Gen X TV, first on Family Ties and then on Friends, just last week she took on a new role: a 40-year-old single mom in the new series Cougar Town.

There! I fixed it!

Pretty funny site. Particularly if you're an asshole, like me, and like to make fun of idiots.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Is it even necessary to mention what state this happened in?

A man has been arrested after breaking into the backyard of a house and jumping into the swimming pool - while naked and covered in faeces.

I must be related to her somehow

85-year-old grandmother is going to a Metallica concert. "People think I'm weird. But I'm sorry, I like it loud."


It's not often one can say "thank you cancer".
News of the death of John Evander Couey, condemned to die for killing 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford in a case that sparked legislation across the nation clamping down on sex offenders, was met with mixed - but strong - emotions Wednesday.

"God done this in his own time," said Ruthie Lunsford, Jessica's grandmother, who said Couey's death Wednesday morning from anal cancer came as a surprise. "I am not crying."

Another babyboomer scold

Sorry, after all that's been done we're not gonna stroke each others penises.
Generations have been ascribed qualities - gen Y are digital natives with short attention spans, gen X are planning on saving the world, baby boomers are selfish, greedy and intent on spending the kids' inheritance, and seniors are hopeless at technology and ultra conservative.

It all seems fairly harmless, even mildly amusing. But it's not. At best it is unscientific, inaccurate and a cheap way of discussing real issues.