Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Long Overdue Congrats

Big ups to Floridian Kelly Slater on winning the A.S.P. World Tour for the 9th time in his career. 9 freakin' times! This is absurd. No one in the history of surfing is even in the same ocean as this dude.

Also congrats to CJ Hobgood for finishing 5th in the world. Let me mention that he's also from Florida.

Radio Free Europe

College Radio stations were teh bridge that linked us from the sweet radio sounds of AC/DC and Van Halen over to the Roaring 90's where some quality music was again being played on big radio stations. I absolutely hate that what is pumped from the mega wattage antennas into our cars and homes has been a carefully crafted, board room approved, psycho analyzed study to keep mind-fucked people tuned in to a steady stream of one and two hit wonders.

If you need a supremo College Station to listen to when you're attempting to write a post that won't bore the fuck out of readers check out 88.1 in Lexington, KY. Even if you despise a song or an entire set you can still take heart in the fact that the college kid spinning the records hasn't been paid off by a record exec with a bag of money and cocaine to promote the next Britney album.

NOTE: If there's something you want to hear that fits into the genre they happen to be playing give them a buzz at (859) 257-WRFL. The DJ's are for the most part accommodating.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Don't Hurt Precious

.....don't mean to continue being all YouTubey, but this delightfully disturbing song/video cracked me the hell up. I'll be figuring out the guitar chords a little later and get ready to unleash a cover version at an open-mic-night.

Nation's oldest dude checks out

RIP Mr. Francis, one of the last remaining folks from the original "Lost Generation". Can't say the last few babyboomers will be as missed as this man should be.

Where they at these daze


In case you're wondering where the Top Gun crew are now here you go.....yeah, I had a suspicion you didn't care either.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Anarchy in the UK

Damn, they're a bunch of boomer dicks in England (this asshole claims to be a GenXster, but we know better).
With his usual penchant for hyperbole, Martin Amis claimed on the Today programme last week that “a kind of civil war” is looming between the generations. Baby-boomers, he said, have enjoyed the best of the economic upswing of the 1980s, growing rich on property and investments and basking in their final-salary pensions, and now their children will have to pay for it.

Raised lazy and irresponsible on the fat of their parents’ achievements, these Generation Xers are crashing back to earth facing likely redundancy, the possibility of never owning their own home and the task of caring for their ageing parents – a population set to outnumber the working young. Which means that the notoriously selfish Generation X will have to dig even deeper to fund the National Health Service, social care and state pensions for the vast army of postwar babies who have frolicked through the past 50 years. Result: burning resentment and even violence.



Thursday, December 25, 2008

Random Xmas Remembrance

Very sad Latchkey Man during Xmas 1988 when my high school girlfriend went to visit her family in Argentina. Jeebus, how pathetic a 16 year old heart can be. Although, I will always remember her as a super cool chick and we did 'learn' a lot together.

So Merry Xmas to you "K" wherever you are......

And she did introduce me to The Sugarcubes (figuratively, not literally) so this is for you:


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Brothers Davies Xmas

Expect lotsa music over the next week

Holiday mode is eclipsing blog mode throughout the internets. If you hate YouTube blogs just skip this place over the next week or so.

....this grainy video taken from a VHS tape left in a humid attic for 2 decades may be the most beautiful 1.5 minutes in Hardcore history. H.R. became part Iggy Pop, Joey Ramone and James Brown if they were forced (and able) to procreate.


Monday, December 22, 2008

Teh Rotten Box

Babyboomers are shown to be a pack of potato chip eating layabouts watching their blowhard idols Oprah and Bill O'Reilly:

Put another way, the older you get, the more you watch, according to a new report from Deloitte, millennials, the generation of 14- to 25-year-olds, watch just 10.5 hours of TV a week.That compares to 15.1 hours for those belonging to Generation X (ages 26-42), 19.2 hours for baby boomers (43-61) and 21.5 hours for matures (62-75).

Why don't they go outside and play a little shuffleboard like old goons are supposed to do.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Random Remembrance

2nd semester of my sophomore year I was broke. I mean really broooooooo-ke. For 2 full days all I ate was hot dog buns (just the bread, I didn't have the coin for the cheap cylinder-shaped meat).

I needed food, so I took it.

The Saturday following my "bun diet" I went to a lively house party that some frat dudes were throwing. I purposely armed myself with barely strung together justifications to loot the place- "They have nice clothes. This house isn't cheap to rent. Look at their cars in the driveway, these dudes have plenty of money." I stayed late that night, well after the partygoers took off. Near daylight the last of the residents finally had enough boozing and politely threw me out.

Unbeknownst to them I unlocked a side door they'd latched after the party died. For a half hour I waited down the street shaking from the cold, waiting for the bastards to be passed out..............I returned, ready to give them a lame excuse had I been caught- "Uhhh, have you seen my keys? I've seemed to've misplaced them...".

No one woke up. I found a fresh garbage bag and loaded up. Everything edible in the fridge and freezer went in the Hefty. The cupboards? Cleared them out, too. As a testament to how hungry I was I left the beer behind. Yes, an 19 year old college kid with a confirmed alcohol problem was so starved he didn't want to take up space in the getaway bag with booze. I was that fucking famished.

Sorry dudes. If you figure it out it was me I promise to take you grocery shopping.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

This is the lamest article on all the 'internets'

I don't care if this azzhole was born in 1970, she is forever barred from being a GenXster. I'd rather drag my nutz across a mile of broken glass than have to read this again.

“It’s so great to be a member of Generation X,” I said to my husband last week on my 47th birthday. He’s 51, a member in good standing of the baby boom generation.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.


“It’s so great to be a member of Generation X,” I repeated more loudly, thinking that perhaps he hadn’t heard me the first time. I smiled sweetly, as one does around the elderly.

“If you’re Gen X, then I’m Gen X,” he said.

“You can’t be Gen X, you’re 51,” I snapped.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Boomers are forever obsessed with proving they have a bigger cock than us

Neil Howe, co-author of a joke of a book about GenXsters once again displays why he should have a full canister of pepper spray unloaded on him.
Whatever you call them (I'll just call them early Xers), the numbers are clear: Compared with every other birth cohort, they have performed the worst on standardized exams, have acquired the fewest educational degrees and have been the least attracted to professional careers. In a word, they're the dumbest.

What's beyond Neil is he's never been above insults that hurt his credibility as a 'generation expert'.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Tryin' to be objective here

Teh primary reason I started this silly blog was to chronicle Gen X in an honest manner. What I fear is that some dopey high schooler from Generation BB or beyond will do a school assignment on Gen X, find this blog long after I decomposed and determine all Xsters were bitter Metal Heads. This is not so much the case. Yeah we were angsty, but among dickheads like me was a sub genre of hip-hoppy, happy, clubbing hipsters.

Another contribution Florida made to the sound coming out teenager's cars was Booty Music. Think booming base, packed dance floors, and lyrics that directly engaged or eluded to sex. Now, down memory lane.......

It blew up here:



It probably peaked with the 69 Boyz (probably better known for Tootsee Roll - I just can't stand that song):



A steep decline followed this song's success:




At least you get the sense these artists weren't full of self importance as the 'glow stick crowd' were.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Need your ass kicked?

GenXsters will be forever linked to nutty activities- we popularized mountain biking, bungee jumping, the X Games, et cetera. If you want a daily challenge I rec'd you try Cross Fit for your workouts. The activities are designed to enhance all levels of your fitness- endurance, strength, speed, balance, agility, timing. Each day they post a 'Workout of the Day' (WOD) that normally combines several different exercises that will always keep your body guessing.

As a meathead I've done it all - - football, powerlifting, body building - - and I've never had my body respond as well as when I started Cross Fit in May. Since I began I have gained 5 lbs, but my waistline has decreased. Translation: I put the weight in lean mass, not fat.

Most appealing is you can do this at your own pace. You compete against your own times and don't worry bout anyone else. Extremely cool to me since I have an issue with my ticker that causes some dizzying issues under major stress.

Check it out!

Monday, December 8, 2008

X vs Y: No not male vs female chromosomes

It's so cute how positive they are. I suppose this is the end result of having a "Baby On Board" sign to protect them as kids.

It’s a bit of a generation game when it comes to appreciating the implications of the global recession, with Generation X workers who were born in the Sixties and Seventies fearing the worst, while Generation Y workers who were born since the Eighties are feeling no fear.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Goin' on now

Case your interested: VH1 is currently airing the 100 greatest songs of the 90's. I forgot how much crap was sprinkled in with the jems.

More Cocksuckery

Silly Tommy. He thinks there's a chance that the babyboomer CEO's and government office holders are going to do the right thing with our money.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Tom Brokaw’s book “The Greatest Generation,” that classic about our parents and their incredible sacrifices during World War II. What I’ve been thinking about actually is this: What book will our kids write about us? “The Greediest Generation?” “The Complacent Generation?” Or maybe: “The Subprime Generation: How My Parents Bailed Themselves Out for Their Excesses by Charging It All on My Visa Card.”

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

This time we didn't forget the gravy....

This cartoon parallels the Babyboomer/Gen X relationship nicely. Hopefully the final scene will also be accurate.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Boomers will never learn that they're very replaceable

Here's some classic concern-trolling. This prick totally ignores all of the many negative boomer traits and then goes on to advocate the Millennials skipping GenXsters in obtaining leadership positions.

Silver hair, pension funds and personal memories of a Kennedy assassination are not the only things our struggling economic engine will lose when Boomers settle into the quiet life. Boomers hold the majority of major leadership roles in the workplace, and their retirement creates a leadership gap that must be filled by the next generations. The question is whether or not their successors are up to the challenge?

Monday, December 1, 2008

Few More Things

I didn't realize that my first post on L.M. was over a year ago?

Also, I'm kinda creeped out that nearly 1,000 peeps have checked out my profile.

Thanks to the folks that find this decrepit corner of the net worthy of adding me to their blog roll (LT Nixon, Barefoot and Progressive, JenX and whoever else I don't know about).

Lastly I did a post on Operation Yellow Elephant of a real degenerate pig-weasel if you're interested in reading about the lowest members of the food chain.
(Note: that's a pic of me above -- the orange one with the glowing eyes)

Reminds me of that 80's movie

I don't mean to continue on with financial shtuff, but this is going to haunt us if ignored.

I’d never taken an accounting course, never run a business, never even had savings of my own to manage. I stumbled into a job at Salomon Brothers in 1985 and stumbled out much richer three years later, and even though I wrote a book about the experience, the whole thing still strikes me as preposterous—which is one of the reasons the money was so easy to walk away from. I figured the situation was unsustainable. Sooner rather than later, someone was going to identify me, along with a lot of people more or less like me, as a fraud. Sooner rather than later, there would come a Great Reckoning when Wall Street would wake up and hundreds if not thousands of young people like me, who had no business making huge bets with other people’s money, would be expelled from finance.

RIP

Tanta from Calculated Risk died of cancer yesterday.

Tanta worked as a mortgage banker for 20 years, and we started chatting in early 2005 about the housing bubble and the changes in lending practices. In 2006, Tanta was diagnosed with late stage cancer, and she took an extended medical leave while undergoing treatment. At that time I approached her about writing for this blog, and she declined for a simple reason – her prognosis was grim and she didn’t expect to live very long. To her surprise, after aggressive treatment, her health started to improve and she accepted my invitation. When she chose an email address, it reflected her surprise: tanta_vive ... Tanta Lives!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Pitchforks and Torches Angry

Most of what I post about babyboomers and Millennials is a lousy attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor. Occasionally though I am sincerely outraged (Sorry I missed this when it was originally published. Although this article will be relevant for eternity and I highly rec'd it being read in its entirety).

The Baby Boom Generation will never be mistaken for the Greatest Generation that survived the Great Depression and defeated evil in a World War that killed 72 million people. I hate to tell you Boomers, but putting a yellow ribbon on the back of your $50,000 SUV is not sacrifice.

Our claim to fame is living way beyond our means for the last three decades, to the point where we have virtually bankrupted our capitalist system. Baby Boomers have been occupying the White House for the last sixteen years. The majority of Congress is Baby Boomers. The CEOs and top executives of Wall Street firms are Baby Boomers. The media is dominated by Baby Boom executives and on-air stars. We have no one to blame but ourselves for the current predicament. Blaming Franklin Roosevelt or Lyndon Johnson for our dire situation is a cop out. Baby Boomers had the time, power, and ability to change our course. We have chosen to leave the heavy lifting to future generations in order to live the good life today.

I take little issue with what James Quinn articulated. In fact the only thing I have issue with is him giving too much credit to the "Greatest Generation". The name itself was given to them by the phony intellectual, Tom Brokaw, as they were once referred to as the "G.I. Generation".........The G.I. Gen has very willingly taken government handouts and we know they sure did a really lousy job of parenting.

Anyway, back to the boomers: presently they control nearly everything - -Congress, CEO positions, the media, et cetera - - without conscience they're setting themselves up to live their final wretched decades in comfort and leave us GenXsters and Millennials (yes, we're in it together) to mop up after their final cocktail party. I've always believed Gen X will be forever known as the ones who sacrificed for the future of Our Country, it's just infuriating to know that the silver-haired boomer driving the new Corvette in front of me today will never have lived up to his responsibility as an American citizen by leaving the country better than what he was born into.

Is there any PAC (or something like it) that is for the protection of Gen X and younger generations? Seriously, if you know of one please let me know. It would be nice if some group is out there to tell those in power "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT STICKING ME WITH THE TAB". If there isn't such an organization I really need to look into what's involved in starting one. In the meantime if you have a Gen X themed blog please get this month old article out there.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I don't exactly feel threatened from this member of teh stoopid

Wow. This Millennial has yet to be chewed up by the grinding gears of corporate America. It's so cute to hear how positive she sounds when speaking of what a go-getta she is. And to think she didn't use "OMG" anywhere in the article!

We all have stories about a loss of our identity to a Gen X'er. Whether they squashed our ideas, sabotaged our projects, or just simply bad-mouthed us for no apparent reason, they can always find something to deter us from success. This is not true of all Gen X'ers, just like not all of us are lazy, spoiled brats. Not all Gen X'ers feel threatened by us; there's getting to be less & less every day. However our motivation and tech knowledge seem to make many of them squirm. We are their replacements; we are a threat to their job.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Gen X in Pennsylvania Ave and other assorted nonsense

On most days when I use 'the Googles' to find Gen X info I read both babyboomers and GenXsters attempting to claim President Elect Obama as one of their own. This is understandable since Gen X doesn't have much to claim as our own and the boomers will find a way to justify extending their 'legacy' even if the next preznit was born in 1985. Whatever, I suppose this will have to wait to be decided after the last GenXster draws a final breath and the future generations reassemble the history books.

So, here I present to you one person's opinion (keep in mind that "fair and balanced" does not exist in Latchkey Land):

It's truly great to see President-elect, Barack Obama, showing his technology savvy. If anyone is still in doubt, the November 2008 election was a triumph for Generation X. The effective use of technology to "get out the vote" and "energize the base" was critical to the Democratic party's win.


In unrelated nonsense:

I give the Millennial generation a lot of shit, but here's one dude that deserves the Medal of Freedom. If I was the judge in this case I'd throw out the charges against the 24 year old and lock up the other 2 for trying to incite a riot by intentionally botching a Dio song.

In my fucked up town if your brother loses one of your hats it's okay to stab him to death. Please folks, if you're considering moving to FL I'm hear to tell you that it may not be your speed. Just come down and spend your money at the beaches and Disney and don't fuck with the locals. Oh, and if you do vacation here please, please, please DO NOT be on the roads before 9:00 AM and between 5:00 and 7:00 PM. Traffic is horrible in FL cities and nothing makes me want to reach for my revolver more than when a tourist with a map on the steering wheel is contributing to my tardiness getting to work or going home.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Bring back teh evil

The January edition of Revolver has a story titled Death Metal: The Ultimate Extreme Oral History that I would have linked to had their home page not suck so badly. Proudly I'll say this Metal movement originated in central Florida during the 1980's spearheaded by the bands Morbid Angel, Obituary, Death, and Deicide. Being in a tourist state everything is overly homogenized and pasteurized to appeal to snowbirds and lame families that think Disney is really where it's at.

It wears on the cognizant locals and ya just want to burn all overly-commercialized shit down......enter the angry GenXsters from Tampa and Orlando: Death Metal filled a canyon sized void in hard music at the time. Hair Metal owned the airwaves for most of the 80's, Metallica torched their head-banging fans by giving us ballads and Seattle bands made guitarists ashamed for knowing scales. These Floridians couldn't be bothered with what was popular, they just wanted to bust ear drums and shred.


When these dudes wear pentagrams you get the sense they mean it.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Prick Alert!

A front page contributer from The Daily Kos just couldn't resist pointing out how relevant the babyboomers still are:

Based on the complaints of those pre-election Diarists, something is missing from all the critiquing.

Look at those Cabinet appointees:

Thomas Daschle, born in '47. Eric Holder, born in '51. Janet Napolitano, born in '57. And, possibly Hillary Clinton, born in '47.

Baby Boomers. Every one. Surely this will not be allowed to stand.

Listen, we knew you assholes weren't going to go away after this election cycle, but we still hold out hope that some day you assholes will just shut the fuck up. Now go play shuffleboard like an obedient elderly goon.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

We so sexy

Congrats.....I suppose....to 40 year old Hugh Jackman for being People Mag's Sexiest Dude Alive. Let's hope this is the last time a GenXster will ever obtain this lame title because somewhere there's a Millennial Hollywood actor saying today that he "got screwed".

Monday, November 17, 2008

Yeah, we suck too.....

What ever happened to the class of '93?

So rebellious back in the day, Chicago's so-called 'alternative' rockers have gone on to indulge in the nostalgia they once defied.

H/T: JenX67

They're as bad as their parents

Saw this one coming- the Millenials are beginning to point their text messaging fingers letting us know how much more of teh awesome they are when juxtaposed w/Gen X.

The increasing youth vote has more to do with the replacement of the older Gen-X or "slacker" generation with the younger Millennial Generation, a post baby-boom cohort that now holds the political reins of the youth voting bloc.

At the 16th Annual California Policy Issues Conference in Los Angeles last week, Heather Smith, executive director of Rock the Vote, a nonprofit, nonpartisan, youth voting initiative that started 18 years ago in Los Angeles, said today's 18-24-year-olds - unlike the Generation X that preceded them - are very motivated to vote. "For the Gen X-ers, politics was so uncool," began Smith. "Now, everyone is talking about politics with friends and family."

This year marked the highest youth vote turnout since 1972, when a record number of young people went to the polls motivated by the Vietnam War and the draft.


I'm not going to falsely claim we were the most politically active generation, because we weren't. Yet to compare the actual voting #'s between generations is a false argument. You see Gen X is a teeny-tiny segment of the population smacked between the 2 largest generations in our country's history (babyboomers and millenials). Even if 75% of GenX voted in 1992 we couldn't have matched the voting #'s of this past year's 20 somethings.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Proven in mosh pits...


This is the greatest motorcycle helmet to have evvahhh been designed. Who cares if this even protects your noggin? When the ambulance shows up to scrape you off of the pavement how incredibly sweet would it be for them to find you wearing this? Now that's a way to check out. Fuck that dropping dead in your sleep shit.
Also comes in different flavors: Motorhead, Slayer, Kiss, Slipnot. Damn, I don't know which one I'll choose.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

T.S.O.L. - Code Blue

..trying to come up with the most offensive song I know. I think I found it. (lyrics below)



I never got along with the girls at my school
Filling me up with all their morals and their rules
They'd pile all their problems on my head
I'd rather go out and fuck the dead
Cause I can do what I want and they won't complain
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead
Middle of the night so silently
I creep on over to the mortuary
Lift up the casket and fiddle with the dead
Their cold blue flesh makes me turn red'
Cause I can do what I want and they won't complain
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead
And I don't even care how she died...
But I like it better if she smells of formaldehyde!
Never on the rag or say leave me alone
They don't scream and they don't moan
Don't even cry if I shoot in their hair
Lying on the table she smiles and she stares

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day 2008

I was a lucky GenXster. Although my parents are boomers, they aren't dirty hippies as I like to intentionally generalize their generation as being. Above is a pic I scanned of my Dad's platoon in the 101st Airborne Division. After high school he volunteered (wasn't drafted) to serve as an infantryman in The Army. He spent 1966 in Vietnam and saw mucho combat.

As a kid I used to constantly get into my father's belongings. I put on his uniform, played with items he took from Vietnam, and always whizzed thru the pictures he had taken in southeast Asia. Oddly, somehow I just knew (he never had to tell me) there were 2 items that were off limits for my grubby, little hands to touch: his Jump Wings and his Combat Infantryman Badge.


(please read Army of Dude's post)

Monday, November 10, 2008

This Xster does not represent me

The Chicago Sun Times picked up this crap from Salon. Let us take it apart bit by bit.

Dear boomers: We're sorry for rolling our eyes at you all these years. We apologize for scoffing at your earnestness, your lack of self-deprecation, your tendency to take yourselves a little too seriously. We can go ahead and admit now that we grew tired of hearing about the '60s and the peace movement, as if you had to live through those times to understand anything at all.

Sorry? Is you nutz? We didn't roll our eyes at their 'peace movement' (aka: please God don't let them draft my ass into war), we continue to "scoff" at them for being sellout weenies for trading in their youthful beliefs when they were first able to pad their wallets and purses.

As our parents, you told us to tell you anything, to be honest, to come to you with our problems, but when we did, you were uncomfortable and dismissive. You didn't really want to know how we felt.

What generation is she from? A good portion of us GenXsters are from broken homes or had both parents working. I don't recall my folks having time to recognize when I had problems (I will never blame them for this. They both had to work hard to provide for my family). We are generally independent and didn't seek nor want advice from the parentals.

We doubted even the most heartfelt, genuine statements. We didn't want to be blind to our own faults, like you were, so we paraded our faults around, exalted in our shortcomings. The worst thing, to us, was to not see ourselves clearly. The worst thing was to not be in on the joke.

How is this a negative? We knew boomers were bloviating do-nothings, so we became realists and knew they were all bullshit.

WEK THEORY: the boomers knew they were unable to live up to the standards set by the previous 2 generations (G.I. and Silent) and they took it out on Gen X since they vastly outnumbered us. Again, nothing pissed me off more than when I was working at a bar serving drinks to boomers with no more formal education than I had. I was dismissed as a slacker, but those muthafuckas weren't hiring at their companies. I would have been happy to have had a "real job" with benefits, yet even my Ivy League peers were struggling to get by.

Just when we were starting to understand how to be a part of the larger world outside, Al Gore had the election stolen right out of his hands in Florida, and then the twin towers collapsed before our eyes. At first we felt moved to act for the greater good in the wake of that tragedy. But then the whole country seemed to implode in front of us, from our invasion of two sovereign nations to the rise of celebrity culture to tanning beds to McMansions to Guantanamo Bay to Hummers. It was so sad and pathetic that it was funny to us, even if it was only sad and pathetic to you.

Emphasis above courtesy of me. I feel like I'm Tommy from Goodfellas: "Funny how? Am I a clown here to amuse you? Amuse you!?" I didn't find anything humorous at all.....okay maybe the "rise of celebrity culture" and "McMansions", but that is all. There's a reason I've never heard of a single 9-11 joke- it's because there's nothing fucking funny about it. And I know there are varied opinions of the Iraq War. I get it. But to somehow even suggest that invading the sovereign nation of Afghanistan was wrong? Are you crazy? I think any sane person realizes there are quite a few people there that would be happier if the United States looked like the History Channel's program "Earth After People".

Nuff said. I need to wind down and go to sleep.

Please read "The Last GenXster Ever Born (LT. Nixon)" take on this trash.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The GOP's GenXster answer?

Damn. Obama hasn't even been inside the Oval Office yet and there's already talk of who will unseat him. Oh well, at least he's not a boomer.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Gen X: So not liberal

This is interesting. Sort of, at least. The hyperlink has the Presidential polling from the Daily Kos tracker (Don't give me shit as being a liberal partisan. Markos' tracked the races fairly accurately in '06 so he knows something 'bout crunching these #'s). Check out the 30-44 year old (all GenXsters) support for Senator McCain. It's well above even the really old bastards. I tried to copy it onto this post, but it failed like Limp Bizkit trying to sell out a stadium.

I have a few theories in regards to the GenXsters support of the Republican platform. First is the Republican's preaching (and no, I will not add the word "practicing" here) personal responsibility. None of the living generations have had as much self reliance as Gen X. There is no argument here: us Latchkey Kids have had to grow up much faster than the 'Leave it to Beaver' fucks and the Sweet 16 celebrating Millenials. Generally, we don't take things for granted and we don't trust anyone else making decisions for us, and we really don't trust government and we really, really don't believe Social Security will be around to help us after the boomers engulf it like Marilyn Chambers took all of John Holmes.

Nextly, is Ronald Reagan. Older GenXsters voted for him in tremendous #'s. The "Reagan Youth" have still retained their conservative "values" from his influence. Not that my high school was the microcosm of all young society from 1986 to 1990, but the conservative kids seemed to vastly outnumber the liberals. That entire mantra of people becoming more conservative with age seemed ridiculous to me since I thought most of my peers were right-wingers before we'd ever been to prom. Personally, I couldn't stand Reagan, but I have my reasoning: my grandfather, father and uncle were all Police Officers. When the crack epidemic hit the cities hard Reagan couldn't care less and told us to "just say no". The Police were vastly underfunded and did not have the manpower to keep the streets safe. Furthermore, Reagan fucked the unions. Yeah, yeah.....I know some people hate unions and always think of the corrupt On the Waterfront scenes, but the next time you have off on a Saturday and Sunday remember to THANK UNIONS FOR MAKING IT POSSIBLE.

.....now back to your regular programming.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Shopping list: shaving cream, eggs, toilet paper

Happy Halloween! Remember this dude above? I went as him on Halloween one year. That, or my John McEnroe costume, were my favorite Halloween outfits of all time.

Tonight when I leave work I'm going to drop by a grocery store and buy 2 things: a bag of apples and a box of razor blades. I want to see if they follow me out and write down my license plate # as I leave.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Mind numbing jobs can really effect brain function

Sitting in a cubicle for double digit hours is about as fun as watching my beard grow. This morning I thought of something comical to write and now I can hardly piece it together. Plus everyone was grumpy today from the Rays losing the World Series.

I gotta give the Philly fans credit though, they know how to party. This dude get hits with a bottle and falls to the pavement from a street light. Reminded me of Hot Water Music show.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

World Series goes to Philly

Nice season Tampa Bay Rays. Really impressive. But they failed.......

Now I can finally get some sleep this month instead of watching baseball to the late hours of the night. I'm a baseball junkie and nerdy statistician that can calculate a person's batting average based on the changing pitch count.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Incoherent Observation

I've been out of the dating scene for the last 5 years due to my luck of meeting a super cool girl (don't give me hell for not being married, we're happy as we are). Really, I don't deserve her at all after living the life of a drunken libertine from middle school through my early 30's. I'm not necessarily sure if I was sick of the lifestyle, or if the lifestyle conformed into something I'm not. I think it's the latter.

In the late 90's the social scene became more dance clubby and every other person appeared twisted on ecstasy, the annoying drug that makes azzholes into feely, touchy azzholes. Personally, I hate drugs. Always have. Booze worked for me and I never turn my back on a friend. Anyway, when I was 31 I dated a girl that was 21. We didn't have much in common other than hanging out at the same St. Pete beach bars on Saturdays. I thought we got along well enough to remain dating until I met her parents. They liked me, so it wasn't an issue of them poisoning the well. The problem was I actually had more in common with them than I did with their daughter. Her father and I had the same tastes in cars, his favorite Zeppelin album was also mine (Physical Graffiti), and he was also a huge James Dean fan. I was deeply disturbed that, at the time, I had more in common with babyboomers than a Millenial. God, I'm so lame. I broke up with her the next time we had a fight over nothing by acting like whatever she did, I no longer remember, was the biggest effin deal in the world. It finally dawned on me that any meaningful relationship I ever had was with a GenXster. I've never dated a boomer, and since they're sagging or botoxing now, it will NEVER happen. I'll happily stick with my GenXster.


NOTE: I know it may seem peculiar that someone could even think about being a clown in their 30's. But I live in Florida, the land of people "fucking off", so believe it or not it's perfectly acceptable for people of any age to continue to act like a high schooler who's parents just left alone in the house for the weekend.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Austrialia: the only country that regularly documents GenXsters

From the Herald Sun:

Unlike their younger Gen Y brothers and sisters, Gen X know what a recession is - they graduated from university just in time to get their honours in an economic slowdown.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Keepin' Tabs

Whatever happened to Liv Tyler? Seriously! I live life fairly obliviously, so I have no idea where she's been over the last decade? I still can't believe that the Mick Jagger wannabe, Steven Tyler, was able to produce someone so beautiful.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Go Rays

Whoa. If you happened to have seen my post from last Thursday you'll know that I nearly jinxed the Tampa Bay Rays from making it to the World Series. Thankfully, the Rays bailed my overly anxious mouth out and eventually won the ALCS against the Boston Red Sox.

Although I'm obviously happy for the local team, there is a bit of sadness in their defeat of Boston. Here's my reasoning: the Red Sox have been the best team of the decade and the core of their team is comprised of GenXsters (David Ortiz, Kevin Youkilis, et cetera). The Rays best players are all south of 26 years old and obviously from Generation Whine. The Rays didn't just end the Red Sox dominance, they effectively closed the chapter on Gen X being the preeminent force in Major League Baseball.

.....unlike the boomers, it's important for us to know when to hand over our sword.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Any dude that uses Twisted Sister...

...in a post must be alright (even though he's a "northerner" from GA....J/K!)

Oh yeah, and Boomer, we see you trying to save social security. I have a better idea. When all of you reach retirement age here soon just take the money out and split it up among yourselves. We don't need it. We have done without for so long because it was all you, that we are willing to do without now and give to our children. Our children can just stop paying into social security when they enter the workforce, and use the extra money for themselves and their families, their success is our success.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

UPDATE:...when Florida freezes over

UPDATE: Fuck. I did jinx the home team. The Red Sox scored 7 runs to tie the game and have a chance to win in the 9th.

No time to blog - - the Tampa Bay Rays look like they're going to the World Series. Shit, I may have just jinxed them.

This town is gonna get nuts.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

From the folks that brought us the tea tax

A British GenXster reminiscing and bagging on Gen Y.

For Generation X, there is something almost reassuring about recession. For me, spawned in 1971, it's been a case of lack of business as usual, be it 1974-75, 1980-81 or 1991. Indeed, in the manner of professional Northerners, X-ers might boast that "It's All We Had".
Before they mutated into boomers, our parents were weaned in an atmosphere of post-war austerity of a sort to make them insist that we lick the pattern off our plates. Spam fritters were a staple of the school menu (X-ers should be grateful to have been spared snook). In the Seventies, we were so impoverished that someone recently inspecting the Betts family album asked whether we were clad in gypsy fancy-dress (we weren't).

I guess we're going to be pricks to Millenials as the Boomers were to us. Oh well, they'll pay us back by bagging on our kids.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Stupid GenXster Tricks

A dude from work and I shared stories of our time as bored youths and what we did to pass time. He's a year younger than me (35 y/o), with a similar background.

Here's a few examples of my stupidity. If any kids are reading I dare you to top these:

The Homemade Grenade (age 12)- A got a hold of a few 1/4 sticks of dynamite that I stole fair and square from a friend. After I blew up a couple I came up with a dumbass idea to make one ultra powerful. I rubbed glue on the outside of the 1/4 stick and rolled it in a bowl of BB's. After the glue dried I had a bomb with over a 100 pieces of shrapnel adhered to the outside. I took it out in the woods, lit it, and ran behind a oak tree. When it blew, the BB's tore through all vegetation within a 40 foot radius. Leaves, tree limbs, and small plants were leveled. The tree I hid behind had been embedded with the silver spheres. This actually scared the fuck out of me and I was glad it was the last 1/4 stick I had.

Teh Milkshake Bomb (age 16)- My buddy and I were driving down a road with a 50 MPH limit, so we were doing about seventy (I was sitting shotgun). I had a McDonalds vanilla milkshake in my lap and I could see a jogger coming our way. For no reason what-so-ever I threw it out the car and nailed him in the neck (that's where the police report said he was struck). Yep, somehow, some way, someone got my buddy's license plate # and we were called to the police station. My Pop was liiiiivid (understandably, since he was a police officer in a different city), he wouldn't even say a word the entire ride down to the station. The cops succeeded in scaring the fuck out of me. They locked me in my own cell for awhile and treated me like a jackass. After all this I would like to thank the man I hit with the milkshake for not pressing charges. Worst of all my friend was completely innocent. I didn't give him any warning for the act I was going to commit. I took the rap by telling the cops the truth, but my buddy's father still didn't believe his always-in-trouble son had nothing to do with it.

HST is a bad influence (age 17)- Inspired by Hunter S. Thompson's book, Hell's Angels, I rolled a metal garbage can in front of a city bus. HST was correct, it does sound like a Volkswagen getting run over. Judging by the heavy use of brakes, the bus driver must have thought he killed a homeless person pushing a shopping cart. I could literally hear the passengers screaming. People on the block looked out the windows or ran outside. I would like to take the time to thank my parents for passing me their athletic genes that enabled me to quickly get away.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Out of Office: Auto Reply

Mercifully I'll be away from this rotten box for a few days attending various professional sporting events, drinkin' beer and telling girls "I'm 29".

Here's some gloriously beautiful music from the era when ability trumped over-jelled hair.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Boomerang Boomers

The azzholes who have been blessed with the greatest economic times in Our Country's history are coming back to the workforce for more.

Xers are outcomes focused. Boomers like to talk process ... a lot. With Boomers in charge, Xers have learned to work with it. But when Boomers retire from their "first" career, it will be Xers who take their place. Is it payback time?

Suzanne also links to an excellent article (Don't Treat Them Like Baby Boomers).

Here's zah bottom line: if the boomers need a little extra loot I think it's time they worked the same shitty jobs I did out of college before the IT industry took off- mow some lawns, shovel driveways, milk cows, 7-Eleven night clerk, bar back, concession stand worker at the Kentucky Derby, et cetera.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

My less than fantastic voyage

thru the intertubes.

With a Maker's Mark and cola leaving water rings on my computer table, here's the sites I hit when I got home for work.

Another goddamn bad day with the market, let's see what Calculated Risk says: "Wek, it's a good thing you have low debt cuz your employer of 9 years has layoffs-a-comin'." Oh well, I guess I'll check my investments anyhow. Holy Jesus, I could barely buy a used Ford Focus with what's left. Well, I know it's absolutely retarded to buy one of the motorcycles I was looking at on Ebay, but let's see what they're going for today. I won't have a jobie-job, but I'll have a sweet bike. Over to YouTube to see a lunatic on a motorcycle that's on my wish list. Jeebus, this dude is going so fast it looks like the surroundings just threw itself in reverse. Since I'm on YouTube I'm feeling a bit musically nostalgic. Ned's Atomic Dustbin will do.

Okay, enough of this nonsense, these times are very serious so I need to get an update on what happened in today's political landscape. Greenwald? No. Captains Quarters? Nah. How about the wise asses at Sadly, No!. Hell yeah. Atrios, too? Sure. While I'm at it, wonder how the wingnuts are doing? Okay, I'll be serious for real this time. Counterinsurgency sparks an interest in me, as well as Military insight on the goings on of our fucked up country. Good enough for now, everyone agrees that everything still sucks. I'd hate to see unicorns and rainbows any time soon.

Man, if my girlfriend wasn't so hot (and unbelievably sweet) I'd be hoisting a few more bourbons and looking for a fattie here. For the record I don't know anyone that's ever met a hookup on Craigs List, but I'm sure it happens for the truly persistent.

Shit, my ice cubes are watering down my drink. That's what I get for putting it in a 40 ounce container.

Out!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

No more R and R

I wasn't gonna post again until Monday, but then I thought LT. Nixon probably doesn't want his masked mug at the top of my crappy blog for another day.

For your misery, here's a babyboomer blog called "Aging Hipsters".

They. Will. Never. Go. Away.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Congrats LT Nixon

World famous Milblogger, LT Nixon, hit the 50,000 visitor milestone today. Born in 1980, the LT may be the last GenXster ever born. If you haven't visited his rapidly expanding spot on the intertubes I suggest you stop wasting your time here and drop by. Although this does come with a WARNING: The LT does not brake for small animals or even a nun pushing a baby carriage.

Remember this dude?

If you were a kid in the 70's it's likely you saw the "Mr. Yuk" sticker on the side of bottles of cleaners, paint removers or any household liquid substance that could potentially have made one vomit up their intestines.

I'm not too sure of the effectiveness of Mr. Yuk? My sister and I used to search the home for bottles with his image and be in awe of its potentiality to kill (no we didn't drink any, but some ants got a bath). Besides, most kids of any era would know after a few swigs of Drano that "this stuff sucks" and put it down with minimal harm. Of course today's parents make their kiddies wear a bike helmet to take out the garbage (yes, I'm calling out over-protective GenXster parents).

Monday, September 29, 2008

Financial Rant

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I don't want to work til I'm 75 (if I'm lucky). I realize I'm nearly 30 years away from retirement age, yet it still blows to know that thousands of dollars wrapped up in my 401K have bid me farewell. How is it that the CEO's in charge of these massive floundering companies have lived pleasant lives and there are children that die from leukemia? THERE. IS. NO. JUSTICE. EVAHH. As the jokesters on Sadly, No like to say "I'm pitchforks and torches mad". Worst of all, I see goddamn old bastards around me in Florida that retired in their fifties. FIFTIES! What a fuckin' pipe dream that is for GenXsters.

Here's your unsolicited financial advice for the day: Invest in booze, rope manufacturers (for nooses), razor blade companies and poison producers. If the market continues to tank these products will be sold faster than botox to babyboomers.

Fuck it, I don't even care anymore. One week in college I was so broke all I ate was hot dog buns. I didn't even have condiments. That experience prepared me for anything. And remember, if you need to make money fast, all you need is a ski mask and a revolver.

Out!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

"I learned it from you, I learned it from watching you!"

Now I know why dead bodies are often pulled out of Tampa Bay. And all along I thought they were just drunk boaters that happened to be Italian.
The federal indictment against him reads like a plot summary for "The Sopranos." The 44-year-old Gotti — son of the late "Dapper Don" of the notorious Gambino crime family — allegedly had his fingers in everything: whacking rivals, trafficking cocaine, bribery, kidnapping and money-laundering. Earlier convictions show Gambino crews have worked for years to get a foothold in the Tampa area's criminal underworld.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Paul Newman - RIP


Paul,

Thank you for sharing with us your talent and philanthropic spirit. I'm sorry that I'll most remember you for the movie Slapshot.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

How Annoying

Jeebus Christ, I just wanted to spin some music from a largely forgotten album only to discover that it's under the large umbrella that is the Universal Music Group (the same cocksuckers that somehow acquired Def Jam through a series of sell-offs and mergers). The problem: U.M.G. does not enable the embeds on YouTube.

Although I'm eternally grateful for Def Jam giving us LL Cool J, Public Enemy and, most importantly in my mind, Slayer; they have completely sucked porn-star-sized-dick since the mid 90's.

Anyway, I just wanted you to see this stupid shoe-gazing, filled with self importance video from 90's era GenXsters that probably dropped out of architecture school to produce a few good songs and then become forgotten about like the one night stand I had in Nashua, NH over a decade ago.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sometimes I route for Xers to fall

During my lunch break today, I decided to walk up to Wollman Rink in Manhattan’s Central Park to check out David Blaine’s latest stunt. I have better things to do with my time, to be sure, but I’ve always been curious about David Blaine: Not in that “Oh, he’s so amazing” way, but in that “What is this guy’s deal?” way. Apparently, I’m not the only cynic around. I overheard a few middle-aged ladies walking ahead of me,saying, “He’s just doing a stupid stunt; he’s not a magician.”

Great ones can never hang it up

NEW YORK (AP)—Lance Armstrong is chasing an eighth Tour de France title and an elusive feat: persuading everyone he’s clean.

As Armstrong reunites with his close friend and Astana team director Johan Bruyneel, the man behind his yellow jerseys, he’s also adding a new member to his support group. Anti-doping expert Don Catlin has been hired to test Armstrong anytime, anywhere—and to post the results online for the world to see.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I miss simplicity

If I rememba correctly my first lunchbox was the Incredible Hulk from the Lou Ferrigno era. The goddamn thing always smelled like sour milk and the latch always unfastened when I was running after the school bus and then I ended up missing the bus since I had to pick my bagged sandwich and thermos off of the ground and inevitably some kids would see from the back window of the bus what happened and made fun of me when I got to school, but all of that teasing ended a few years down the road when grew large and started bullying the bullies until I was accused of being a bully, which was never a goal of mine.

My parents' friends to me


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm kinda pissed at the moment

...so I don't feel like putting anything Pop Culture-eee up. Although, I did do a post on a great GenXster on Operation Yellow Elephant.

Slowly, one by one, I started telling my friends about how I was being called back up to go to Iraq, and their reactions were all the same, yet all different. Some got angry, some cried, some wondered, "Wow, they can do that?" The best was the reaction I received from my one Republican friend, who asked me if it was possible for him to come with me to Iraq. He never enlisted in the military and wanted to hurry and sign up so that he and I could go there together, which instantly reminded me of how not long ago, George Bush was telling a group of soldiers about how much he envies them, talking about how "exciting" and "romantic" war must be. I guess Vietnam wasn't "exciting" or "romantic" enough for the president, and that's why he blew it off. But Iraq was much different.

And like Bush, my Republican friend was all atwitter about the prospect of seeing combat in Iraq, and he sounded really enthusiastic about this idea of his, and as desperate as the Army is for bodies, it wouldn't amaze me at all if he could possibly do it, but I told him no, that he couldn't, and when he asked if I was sure about that, I lost it and said, "Jason, I'm going back to Iraq because you didn't!"

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

When Hip Hop Mattered

I've always been envious of those that can harness anger and dispense an intelligent response to injustice.



I still haven't a clue how this great band dissolved as quickly as they ascended? Although they should be touring soon.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Don't try to one up me, LT.

Bloggin' bud, LT Nixon, believes he has an understanding of just how weird Florida is. Well you don't have a clue, pal.

For instance:

1.) A Tampa woman thought it would help her cause if she told a 911 operator she'd take an AK-47 and "stick it in the 911 operator's mouth and shoot it".

2.) Mary Davis tried to run over a policeman, missed him, then she fell out of the minivan and was run over by it.

3.) What happens when roommates argue about a girlfriend in Florida? One roommate gets a steak knife in the gut.

4.) How many people come home and find an SUV in their pool.....WITH 2 DEAD BODIES INSIDE.

5.) "Father lays pipe to the head of a boy laying the pipe to his daughter"

6.) Oh, you wanna tell a Floridian how to water his plants, do ya? Well we might just chase you back to your property with a machete.

(I don't think I'm helping our tourist industry by posting this)

*all stories sourced from Fark.com.

Market down 500+

This insures that any boomers planning on retiring in the next few years will still be around the office to tell us how Rock & Roll was so much better in the 60's.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

David Foster Wallace 1962-2008

CLAREMONT, Calif. (AP) — David Foster Wallace, the author best known for his 1996 novel "Infinite Jest," was found dead in his home, according to police. He was 46.

The Cap'n

I miss watchin' cartoons on the weekend.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Brilliant insight, as always

From Army of Dude:

It was appropriate that my journey to Iraq ended like it began - on September 11. Six years earlier (September 2001) as a sophomore in high school, I had already made up my mind about joining the Army. The attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon simply sealed the deal. I didn't discuss what kind of job I wanted with my recruiter or the dude that signed my papers. I wanted to go infantry. I wanted to put a bullet in the heart of any Taliban that crossed my path. I wanted them to pay dearly with their lives.

As fate would have it, I wasn't bound for the mountains of Afghanistan but the septic waste strewn cities of Iraq. I don't regret for one second my experiences there, both of triumph and tragedy. My battalion led the way in perhaps the most daring offensive of the whole war to capture al-Qaeda in Iraq's self proclaimed capital of Baqubah. The men I had the utmost pleasure to serve with will be my closest friends until the day I die. It's all downhill from here; I'll never make new friends that are on the same level of the men I shared life, love and loss with during our fifteen month combat deployment.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Our rich pricks are better than...

....their rich pricks.

Members of generation X may be in big trouble when it comes to savings
and retirement
, but it turns out that they're more philanthropic than older generations. A new survey from Northern Trust found that gen X millionaires give nearly twice as much, on average, to charitable causes as their elders.
Wek's heartless advice: Do not give to a charity that will directly help a boomer. Start with the most helpless, voiceless cause (a la Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and work your way onto the next older. Or help out those that put their lives on the line for us.

If anyone donates to either of the organizations above please let me know in the comments. I'll match the 1st $100 with my own (yeah, I'm a sucker for the honor system).

Monday, September 8, 2008

I'm sure he had it coming

but it was still kinda fucked up.
Oasis singer Noel Gallagher was attacked on stage in Canada during a concert by the British band on Sunday night, sending him to hospital with a suspected broken rib.
I don't hate the band Oasis even though they unapologetically aped the Beatles sound for Pablo Escobar piles of money. The Gallagher bros lived to piss people off and they succeeded brilliantly.


The crime caught on film:

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Another boring financial post

....but I know how many GenXsters are slacking on their retirement savings.

Play for the match. It's hard to do anything with your money that's better than investing in a 401(k) plan when your employer matches part of your contribution. The most typical match is 50 percent of your contribution up to 6 percent of your salary, meaning that the employer will kick in as much as 3 percent of your salary. If you make $35,000 a year and contribute $2,100 (at $40 a week), your company will add an additional $1,050. That's a 50 percent rate of return on your investment, before you even invest. A true no-brainer. Force yourself to do that by signing up for an automatic paycheck deduction. You won't miss what you never see.