Monday, August 30, 2010

I hate the song I posted below

So here's another song that gets on my nerves.

not as cool as Rob Zombie

He woulda kicked some azz

I thought one only lies about being younger when they're my age?
Julious Javone Threatts is 21 years old. He's now behind bars without bail after Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies said he used the alias Chad Jordan to pose as a 14-year-old boy, join the Tampa Bay Youth Football League and try to register at a Tampa middle school. Threatts was on probation for burglary charges, authorities later determined.

He now faces charges of trespassing on school grounds, obstruction by a disguised person and violation of probation.

Hillsborough County jail records Saturday did not show whether he was represented by an attorney.

"He really acted like a kid," McCloud said. "My son is 13, and my son was hanging out with him, and (Threatts) acted more immature than (my son)."

Nope, this relationship wasn't going to end well

Just read the 1st line of this article and you'll get the jist.
A 24-year-old man was charged with false imprisonment of his 66-year-old girlfriend following an argument Wednesday.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Awesome Prank

I surf because I love it

I truly do. Most of the time I paddle out it's in the winter when the water is cold by Florida's standards and no one is on the beach.

Although as you see from the pic below surfing does attract certain spectators when the weather is nice and they tend to get surfers attention.....

Suburbia Created Mall Rats

I grew up in suburbia like a bazillion other kids from all generations and I gotta say they kinda suck.

I know parents think they're doing a good thing by raising their shitty little kids like me out in the land just past the city limits, but until I got my drivers license I felt trapped within the confines of a bland neighborhood that didn't exactly cater to my needs as a pre/early teen. Public transportation was virtually non-existent, I got kicked off every piece of land that was skateboardable, and it inconveniences parents since even a simple trip to the movies involved major planning that involved them.

And guess what parents? Just because we lived outside the city we still found "city trouble". Particularly since there was never a shortage of drugs and booze outside the city limits.
It’s a trend demographer Bernard Salt says is growing, as more Generation X and Y families shy away from the suburban dream.

‘‘There’s a shift coming in apartment requirements,’’ Salt says. ‘‘Traditionally, the model is as soon as you have the child at about the 12-month mark you sell up and you move out to the ’burbs."

‘‘I think what we’ll now see is a generation of apartment inner-city aficionados who cannot abide the thought of suburbia and who will make compromises to their lifestyle and living arrangements in order to remain in the inner city. I think that’s going to place pressure on the types of apartments that are being built"

Hurricane Danielle Surf

East Coast is blowing up.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Drummers, bassists and singers are worthless

Buy a guitar and call yourself a band.

Glad I wasn't surfing here

Yeah, Redington Beach is about 5 miles south of moi.
A 48-foot yacht has mysteriously run ashore on Florida's Gulf Coast, west of St. Petersburg.

Detectives are still trying to figure out who owns the luxurious 48 Sundancer, which sells for about $1 million new.

No one has reported it lost or stolen. The only sign of foul play was the still-churning engine that propelled the ship onto Redington Beach.

Well I'll be goddamned

I'm def not included in this movement. Although I consider myself a Porn Again Christian.
Generation X, the set of Americans who came of age in the late 1980s and early 1990s, is often branded as a rules-rejecting, authority-questioning group.

But when it comes to religion, new research has revealed that Gen-Xers are surprisingly loyal to their faith – a finding that also suggests the rising non-religious tide in the United States may be leveling off.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

See how your favorite Metal stars 'measure up'

Metal Sludge, the infamous website, let the groupies write 'reviews' of their conquests.

(Admit it. You clicked the link.)

Happy Birthday dear.....

Just because one can afford the 458...

...doesn't mean one can handle the power.
Making its debut last September, the $260,000 supercar can accelerate from zero to 60 miles per hour in a little over three seconds, and has a top speed in excess of 200 miles per hour.

Faulty design has been ruled out as the cause of the string of accidents, and appears to be just a streak of bad luck, the Daily Telegraph newspaper reported.

I'd make a set of teeth with this

There's only 1 escape route from Key West. Unless you own a boat, of course.
Authorities Friday were checking fingerprints and clarifying video images showing the theft of a $550,000 gold bar from a museum in Key West, Florida.

For 25 years, visitors to the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum in Key West, Florida, had the opportunity to lift the glittery piece of treasure in a special display case.

"It was touching something that came off the ocean floor," said Melissa Kendrick, the museum's executive director.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Chest high waves today

Not like Cocoa has become the armed robbery capital of FL

Maybe they should've practiced with water pistols.

A 72-year-old woman was accidentally shot in the chest by her husband Sunday as the two trained for robbery scenarios, is reporting.

Arnold Morris, 77, pulled the handgun out of his pocket during the "robbery drill" and accidentally fired it, hitting his wife, Patricia Morris, police said. The Cocoa couple has been married for 54 years.

I'm for it

Well sorta. I can't fully embrace the death penalty, but it'd be nice to see a bunch of rich dudes get the punishment others have received for much less.
Brad Pitt says he would consider the death penalty for those responsible for the BP oil spill.

Monday, August 23, 2010

So not helicopter parents

Sad that this poor boy probably missed his parents when they went to jail. (via Fark)
Entering the residence, Hopkins said he saw the man, later identified as Patrick, in the master bedroom lying on the bed. Marion County Fire Rescue personnel were summoned. Officials were able to wake up Patrick, who they say had slurred speech and difficulty standing.

Patrick told officials he takes medications and showed them the prescription bottles. Officials say the man told them he drank one alcoholic beverage.

Covered with a blanket and lying on the kitchen floor in a puddle of milk was Patrick's wife, Nicole, authorities said. The little boy said he poured milk on his mother in an attempt to wake her up.

Helicopter Parents

I think I'd still prefer the standoffishness parents than the kind that are always in my shit.
Since the New York Times never gets tired of running "Kids these days!" stories, I geared myself up for yet another one when I saw the headline "Students, Welcome to College; Parents, Go Home." But this time it was a twist on the usual narrative. Instead, we got a "Parents these days!" article. The article comically addresses the various ways that universities have tried to convince overly clingy parents to leave when they drop their kids off at college, but for once, the kids themselves are portrayed sympathetically.

Most articles I've seen in the past couple of years about "helicopter parents" address the anxious parents of very small children trying to get their kids into the best kindergartens and making sure that their coloring books get them diagnosed as geniuses. Boy, those kids aged faster than the kids on a soap opera, because now we have an article about parents of children 12 or 13 years older. But for all the hyperbole, the writer Trip Gabriel actually paints a touching picture of parents who've just spent the past 18 years making their offspring the center of the lives and now, having to set their cubs free, they don't know what to do with themselves. And so they find excuses to linger, even as the kids are eager to get on with it.

Lauryn Hill Back on stage

If she didn't disappear it's possible Britney may never have gained popularity. Actually, who am I kidding? Stupid always conquers over quality.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

When kiss went sad

And you thought no one lived here until retirees settled in FL

Wouldn't you be sad to know that civilization may have begun in FL.
TAMPA - In the pitch-black depths of an isolated North Port spring sits a silt-covered ledge that is revealing secrets about a prehistoric nomadic people, secrets held in murky silence for 100 centuries.

Now, with diving gear and artifact-collecting bags, archaeologists with the University of Miami and The Florida Aquarium are sweeping away the muck and uncovering that distant past.

This stuff could be as old as 13,000 years old, when wandering tribes traversed Florida. Their travels included stopovers at what is now known as Little Salt Spring, 90 minutes south of Tampa.

Artifacts are delicately uncovered from a ledge 90 feet below the surface, archaeologists say, offering up glimpses of what life was like for who is believed to have been Florida's first residents

Sympathy for the Little Devils

I've watched very motivated, intelligent, college educated Gen Y'ers come into my company over the last 3 years and get stuck with some really entry level jobs. Basically we have the most overqualified customer service dept I've ever known about. And they're the lucky ones in their early 20's.
When I first read this article in the NY Times Magazine about how 20-somethings are delaying the supposed markers of adulthood---marriage, kids, financial independence---longer than they had in the past, I thought that the main flaw of it was that it didn’t address why financial independence was so hard to achieve. By casting the entire situation as a matter of desire and choice, the author missed the big picture, which is that people delay adulthood because the ability to be an adult requires a certain amount of privilege increasingly unavailable to young people. I tweeted about it at the time, noting the answer to the question, “Why don’t people grow up faster?” is incredibly, stupidly simple---because they are no longer any jobs for people in their early 20s that provide the means to be a full adult. Full stop. I don’t mean that entry level jobs only pay enough for a small apartment or a simple lifestyle. Often, they don’t pay enough to cover the rent on that small apartment---if they can find those jobs in the first place---and that’s why people move back in with their parents.

Which is why I saw red when I read this smarmy, self-righteous screed from some Baby Boomer. It’s a classic example of being born on third and thinking you hit a triple. She assumes that her ability to pay rent with her first job out of college is strictly because she’s so much more fucking awesome than you spoiled kids these days, and her parents were so much more responsible than the softies of today. For a millisecond, she ponders the possibility that things have changed because of financial constraints, but then dismisses that possibility with a handwave. It’s so much more fun to be self-righteous! It’s way more fun to wag your finger at young people and tell them how you lived on Ramen and beans to afford your apartment, never pausing for a moment to wonder if those kids might not be able to afford that apartment even if they lived on dog food.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

If I wasn't a Metal Head I would have liked these dudes more

Good, I hate these fucking things

McMansions have destroyed so much scenery in Florida over the past 15 years I can't feel more happy than to see their owners take it in the ass. Besides, truly wealthy people don't try to impress by stuffing as much house as possible on an acre of land.
They've been called McMansions, Starter Castles, Garage Mahals and Faux Chateaus but here's the latest thing you can call them - History.

In the past few years, there have been an increasing number of references made to the "McMansion glut" and the "McMansion backlash," as more towns pass ordinances against garishly large homes, which are generally over 3,000 square feet and built very close together.

What sets a McMansion apart from a regular mansion, according to Wikipedia, are a few characteristics: They're tacky, they lack a definitive style and they have a "displeasingly jumbled appearance."

Well, count 2010 as the year the last nail was hammered into the McCoffin: In its latest report on home-buying trends, real-estate site Trulia declares: "The McMansion Era Is Over."

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

It's a madhouse

Empire Strikes Back turns 30

Happy birthday to the greatest movie ever. Luke had has hand chopped off, they froze Han Solo like a people-cicle, and the Princess and Chewbacca were taken as POW's. Perfect ending since I love when the bad guys win. They should have ended the whole Star Wars series here instead of that dreadful Return of the Jedi with those damn stuffed animals they called Ewoks.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Even though it samples CSN, I likey

If I didn't hate cold weather I'd move

I know this happens everywhere. It's just always doubly sick in Florida.
Detectives found the men by trolling on the website Craigslist. They took out ads that simply read, “Mom seeking guidance for my daughter,” and, when the suspects answered the ad online, they actually traded emails with undercover deputies.

WFTV was the only local television station there as four of the men were taken away in a van (images raw video) ( explicit ). Ray Damon of Plant City spoke to reporter Blaine Tolison.

"I told her what she wanted so she would invite me here so I could hook up with her mother," Damon said. "I figured if she kept pushing it with the daughter, I was going to leave. That was it."

Fifteen men ranging in age from 18 to 67 years old, are among the worst people you'll ever meet, the Polk County sheriff told WFTV.

"This group of folks were absolutely as disgusting as any we've every arrested," said
Sheriff Grady Judd (watch interview) . "They're nasty individuals and they need to be exactly where we're putting them, in prison."

The arrests included men like Robert Chan, from Pinellas County, who allegedly brought Skittles for a 13-year-old girl he was after.

Chill folks, the shows will go on

I suppose it's believable if Axl flipped out and cancels the tour, but this time it was just a prank.
Welcome to the Twitter jungle.

..Hours after Axl Rose proclaimed via Twitter that Guns'N'Roses' upcoming tour was canceled, U.K. promoters said at least a portion of it is still on and that the singer's account had been hacked.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

As a kid, my sister loved him (snicker, snicker)

Leftovers today

Whammer goes back to the slammer

Wake me up before you go-go.
LONDON (AFP) – Singer George Michael has been charged with possessing cannabis and being unfit to drive after allegedly crashing his car into a photography shop last month, police said Thursday.

The "Careless Whisper" star has been bailed and is due to appear before magistrates in London on August 24.

Donald Duck has too many hands

Quack, quack.
AUGUST 10--While visiting Epcot Center in Florida, a Pennsylvania woman alleges that a Disney employee dressed as Donald Duck grabbed her breast and molested her after she sought an autograph.

After the alleged groping, Donald Duck made gestures--apparently with his snowy white hands—“indicating he had done something wrong,” according to a lawsuit filed last month by April Magolon. The Upper Darby woman, 27, was visiting Epcot with her children and fiancĂ© in May 2008 when the incident reportedly occurred

Put Woodstock on the book's cover

Then it'll hit the NYT best seller list in a week.
What is the premise of the book? One aspect of the book is about the baby boomer generation. As they move toward retirement, there are methods an organization can use to capture and transfer their knowledge to the next generation of workers.

I'm actually gaining much sympathy for boomers that have been laid off. The prospects of them getting re-hired in a position equivalent to what they once held is near impossible. Gonna be some bumpy retirements for them if they're able to retire at all.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Went to Mayhem Fest yesterday

Rob Zombie killed the crowd. I'll share pics soon.

More flavor than Bud Light

Now that I know one could go to jail for this, I'll have to stop.
A man who is accused of urinating in two cups and putting them on a bar at House of Blues has been released from the Orange County jail.

Adolfo Mosmann, 24, who is from Brazil and in the U.S. on a student visa, was arrested about 1:15 a.m. Monday.

An off-duty Orange County Sheriff's Office deputy who was working security at the bar in the 1400 block of East Buena Vista Drive noted in an incident report that Mosmann was caught urinating in the cups and placing them on the bar, where other people were drinking, even though bathroom facilities were nearby.

Embracing one's inner X

As soon as I realized baby boomers were a bunch of pat-my-own-back azzholes I knew I was of a different generation. This personal event happened at the age of 4 months.
There's a psychological as well as a pop-cultural component of being a Gen-Xer too, of course, but that's harder to write about. Unlike a lot of my generation -- at least as the official story of us goes -- I didn't feel alienated from the work world. Within a few months after college I had a job in theater management with good prospects, and throughout my 20s I almost always worked second jobs or attended classes in the evenings. But I do feel there's a certain quality of skepticism about Gen X, and I share that.

Are you "formally hot"?

Personally I've found some grey on the chin whiskers over the last year. Whatever though, I guess I'll embrace becoming the 'creepy old guy'.
This morning, Generation X awoke to discover that its favorite jeans no longer zipped up effortlessly, its laugh lines stayed put even when it most assuredly had nothing to laugh about, and an entire generation knew Courtney Love only as that crazy lady on Twitter. Sure, it continued to make plans for Burning Man and enthuse about the new Arcade Fire, but it also found itself adjusting its reading glasses to take in the crushing news that it was now officially a "Formerly." As in, "Formerly Hot."

That's the verdict from author and (surprise!) women's magazine editor Stephanie Dolgoff, who according to this week's New York Times story most likely to make you want to drink a quart of Botox, is "currently struggling" with being "just the other side of young." Reporter Pamela Paul breaks down Dolgoff's approach to the passage of the time thusly: "You no longer have to be annoyed at being ogled by strange men on the street. Then again, you no longer are ogled by strange men on the street."
Welcome to the age of mixed blessings, you rapidly wrinkling Janeane Garofalo wannabes!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Greatest Hair Metal song IMHO

500 bees enter, 1 man doesn't leave

I'm not allergic to bee stings, but I run like a punk if even one little bastard comes at me. It's why I hate when a nurse says "it just feels like a bee sting" before jabbing a needle into my arm. Well I can't stand fucking bee stings, so that isn't a comforting message to me.
Safety Harbor, Florida -- For the first time, a tree trimmer stung about 500 times by Africanized killer bees on Saturday described the attack.

He was working on a tree in the front yard of a home in Safety Harbor when he cut
through a massive hive.

"This giant swarm just came directly at me. It's like they knew who did it," Ralph St. Peter explained.

Lobster with a side of sausage

I know there's dudes out there with more to lose than me, but I still want to keep my junk.
Trying to conceal two lobster tails by sticking them down the front of his shorts did not work for a Tampa man, according to state marine officers.

Vicente Perez Nararro, 50, was booked of six misdemeanor counts Wednesday after a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer reported finding the defendant spearfishing in Tom's Harbor Cut, near Duck Key.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Monkey Business

I'm back! For the most part, that is. May have to skip an occasional day or 2, but I'll be fairly regular again. Been a really sucky summer. Been put in bizzaro situations and had many conversations I never envisioned having. Some conversations you dread, but you know they're coming eventually. Blindsided, though, by stuff that should be in Florida trailer parks or soap operas? Fuck, it sux.

Toughest person in FL? Or in the entire southeast?

If she wanted to fight me, I'm running.
BETHUNE BEACH -- As Judy Fischman swam in the Atlantic Ocean here Thursday, she suddenly found herself lifted above the water on the back of a large dark animal.

"My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee,' " Fischman said Friday. "Then I saw the black tail."

"Shark," she thought. "Then I saw other sharks and I thought, 'My God, how am I going to escape a whole group of sharks?' "