Thursday, January 29, 2009

Say it ain't so, Zo!

It always bums me out when a great Gen X athlete calls it quits. Alonzo Mourning has been one of my favorite NBA players for the last 2 decades, so I'm gonna miss the dude making opponents rethink their shit before they tried to score over him.

You're gonna need a bigger boat

This is good for the tourist industry: 1000 sharks decided to vacation in Florida today (check out the video in the link).

I spend a lot of time in the water (surfing, snorkeling, swimming) and I swear sharks present a VERY minimal threat. Every time I see one it further confirms they have no interest in humans and bites are most often a case of mistaken identity (usually in muddy water where they can't see well).

Tips to avoid being bit:

- night/dusk swimming increases the odds of getting chomped

- wearing shiny jewelry is a no-no

- don't swim in a swarm of bait fish (bigger fish are around)

- if you're fishing while standing waist deep in the water do not have a bunch of bloody bait attached to a belt

Go Cards

The Super Bowl hysteria is in full swingy in my Tampa Bay area. Drunken Steeler fans are fighting and puking all over themselves, strippers are making 2K a night, and celebrities are having parties in the most obnoxiously trendy bars.

Since the home team failed again to make the playoffs I don't have a dog in the fight, but I've decided to root for the Cardinals for the most stupid reason; their quarterback, Kurt Warner, is a GenXster. Back in 2000 when he won the Super Bowl with the St. Louis Rams I could never imagined I'd be pulling for this guy. The media seized on his pre-NFL human interest story of having to bag groceries for a living and then he fell in love with a woman that lived in a trailer with a barking dog and a crying baby. It was incredibly lame and, in my eyes, he couldn't have dropped off the Earth fast enough. But now that I've grown up to be an oh-so-mature Latchkey Man I've changed my mind and wish him the best on Sunday and beat the Steelers with the Millenial QB.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Random Remembrance

On this day in 1986 the space shuttle Challenger went kaplooohee. As students we were watching it on the teevee during class and were perplexed as to what just happened when the ship turned to dust? My nitwitted teacher that I still suspect was twisted on Valium at the time couldn't find any words to say, preferring instead to cover her mouth with her palm as though she was holding back vomit.

To be fair she wasn't the only one. The other teachers were all acting freaked out and they eventually managed to freak out a lot of the kids. I suppose they had some type of weird attachment to the teacher that was on board the shuttle, but their behavior didn't represent any form of leadership.

I hope to God/Satan/Zeus that the teachers acted more composed on Sept. 11th than what I witnessed 23 years ago.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Short on time. Here's some music.

Lost interview found (I love you YouTube)!

Now gaze at your shoes when listening to this wonderfully pretentious gem.

Monday, January 26, 2009

More Coupland

I guess I'll make this a Douglas Coupland themed night: Junkdrawer has a review of Girlfriend in a Coma (I've only read Generation X and J-Pod).

Glad you're posting again, dude!

Life After God - The Play

If a boomer hates it, this must be good.

Being a baby boomer never felt so good -- creaking joints and all -- as after seeing Life After God, a Vision Theatre production, at Arts Court Theatre Wednesday night.

An adaptation by playwright Michael Lewis MacLennan of a short story by celebrated Canadian cultural commentator Douglas Coupland, Life After God is about the travails of generation X. And what a tiresome bunch it makes those Xers seem.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Movie Review- Abbreviated Version (UPDATE)

Good flick. Depressing. Happy. And depressing again. No fairy tale ending here. Which is cool since the only good happy endings are found in Asian massage parlors. Lot's of '80s references and a good soundtrack if ya still dig on the harder Hair Metal bands. I don't often see movies since I have trouble sitting still, but I'll probably buy the DVD when it becomes available.

Had know idea Marisa Tomei was 44 y/o. She's beyond beautiful. But since she was born in 1964 I guess this means the "Generation Jonesers" are trying to claim her too.

UPDATE: This time I included the link to the movie (The Wrestler). DOH! Thanks Kath.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

America Goes On

LT Nixon, the last GenXster ever born, has written a short story based on....well, let the LT tell us:
Thanks for stopping by. This is a short story entitled America Goes On about redemption and disillusionment of an Iraq veteran in modern

My name's LT Nixon and I'm a soon-to-be-going on terminal leave Navy guy who spent some time in Iraq awhile back. I also blog here, here, and here. I first came up with the idea for this short story when I saw a Marine looking down in a smoke pit at Ali Al-Saleem Airbase, Kuwait back in June 2007. It's a logistics hub for military and civilian personnel traveling into and out of Iraq/Afghanistan. You see a lot of people come through the Kuwaiti purgatory, and I was amazed at the amount of stories everyone had. Of course, everybody chats it up in this environment, because there is literally nothing to do until you wait for your trip into the combat zone or back home. I also thought about how many of those I saw that went through the Kuwaiti logistics hub never made it back. I wrote this story a few months ago but just got around to publishing it. Hope you enjoy it and feedback/suggestions are encouraged...

Let me give you a little insight about the LT (keep in mind I've never met him in person, and know him only from blogging and exchanging emails mocking what we perceive as nonsense): LT Nixon became the most opinionated Milblogger in the history of Milblogs. A noteable accomplishment considering the stiff competition he faces. As a youngster he probably pissed off his teachers by correcting their grammar. His bullshit detector "goes to 11" and he has no tolerance for babied peers, especially celebrities (although I suspect he'd still want to nail Paris Hilton as bad as he would like to tell her off). LT Nixon's blog became a must read for those that have no trust in the media's coverage of Our Country's current conflicts. While in Iraq his thoughts were much more honest than his superiors may have been comfortable with, but he provided a keyhole peek into the life of a deployed servicemen that us civilians cannot fully grasp.

So with that, heeeeeeeeeere's Nixon!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Let's keep the past in the past

Damn, there were some awesome acts that played at this traveling circus. I caught the 1st two years. In '92 I earned 18 stitches on the forehead due to an elbow in the mosh pit when Pearl Jam played. What the fuck was I doing? I never even cared for Pearl Jam. In my correct opinion they don't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the other Seattle heavyweights Alice in Chains, Soundgarden and Nirvana.

Lollapalooza Lineups by year:

North America
Dates: July 18, 1991 – August 28, 1991
Main Stage:
Jane's Addiction, Siouxsie & the Banshees, Living Colour, Nine Inch Nails, Ice-T & Body Count, Butthole Surfers, Rollins Band, Violent Femmes, Fishbone, Emergency Broadcast Network

Location: North America
Dates: July 18, 1992 – September 13, 1992
Main Stage:
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ministry, Ice Cube, Soundgarden, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Pearl Jam, Lush
Side Stage: Jim Rose Circus, Sharkbait, Archie Bell, Porno for Pyros, Basehead, Cypress Hill, House of Pain, Sweaty Nipples, Arson Garden, Seaweed, Seam, Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E., The Look People, Stone Temple Pilots, The Vulgar Boatmen, Truly, Skrew, Tribe, The Authority, Samba Hell, Café Tacuba, Rage Against the Machine

Location: North America
Dates: June 18, 1993 – August 7, 1993
Main Stage:
Primus, Alice in Chains, Dinosaur Jr., Fishbone, Arrested Development, Front 242, Babes in Toyland, Tool, Rage Against the Machine
Side Stage: Tool, Sebadoh, Cell, Unrest, Mercury Rev, Mosquito, Free Kitten, Royal Trux, Tsunami, Mutabaruka, Coctails, Scrawl, Luscious Jackson, Genitorturers, Truly, Eggs, Girls Against Boys, Thurston Moore, A Lighter Shade of Brown, Glue, The Karl Hendricks Trio, Hurl, The Goats

Location: North America
Dates: July 7, 1994 – September 5, 1994
Main Stage:
The Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, George Clinton & the P-Funk All Stars, The Breeders, A Tribe Called Quest, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, L7, Boredoms (first half of tour), Green Day (second half)
Side Stage:
The Flaming Lips, The Verve, The Boo Radleys, The Frogs (first six dates only), Guided by Voices, Lambchop, Girls Against Boys, Rollerskate Skinny, Palace Songs, Stereolab, Fu-Schnickens, The Pharcyde, Shudder to Think, Luscious Jackson, God Lives Underwater, King Kong, Charlie Hunter Trio, Shonen Knife, Blast Off Country Style, Souls of Mischief, Cypress Hill, The Black Crowes
Several of the artists, including Green Day and Cypress Hill, skipped at least one Lollapalooza tour date in order to appear at Woodstock '94 instead. (Green Day held the opening slot for the show in Atlanta, flying to New York immediately afterwards.) Nirvana was scheduled to headline but officially pulled out on April 7, 1994, amid strong rumors that the band was on the verge of breaking up. Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain was found dead in Seattle, Washington the following day.

Location: North America
Dates: July 4, 1995 – August 18, 1995
Main Stage:
Sonic Youth, Hole, Cypress Hill, Pavement, Sinéad O'Connor (first few shows; bowed out due to pregnancy), Elastica (replaced O'Connor, as did Moby for a few shows), Beck, The Jesus Lizard, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Side Stage: Coolio, Doo Rag, Possum Dixon, Poster Children, Yo La Tengo, Brainiac, Coctails, Geraldine Fibbers, Dambuilders, Laika, The Pharcyde, Tuscadero, Built to Spill, Helium, Redman, St. Johnny, Dirty Three, Mike Watt, Versus, Hum, Blonde Redhead, The Roots, Blowhole, The Zeros, Pork Queen, Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, Sabalon Glitz, Psychotica, Patti Smith, Overpass, Moby, Superchunk, Beck (acoustic, generally), Spring Heeled Jack U.S.A., Ariel, Incredibly Strange Wrestling

NOTE: Everyone promise we won't do a lame ass 25th year reunion as they did for Woodstock. Full disclosure: I went to Woodstock '94. I had fun but it was a corporate, money sucking nightmare run by boomers that still thought they were relevant.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

We're all one! No, for real.

At least according to this coddled millenial.
There are plenty of Gen Y-ers who are not microblogging their way through work, hands out, waiting to get what they deserve. In the same way, all Gen X-ers are not selling their old Pearl Jam CD's to keep up with Gen Y.We don't all have to be labeled. I won't be labeled.

Ho-hum, just another reason I hate Useless News and World Distort.

And here's another article saying Obama is an Xster. Sorry Generation Jones azzholes, you're not mentioned here. But please understand that it's hard to cite something that doesn't exist. It would of kind of be like quoting Casper the Friendly Ghost.
So say goodbye to the '60s, mom and dad. No one cares about Woodstock or the time you got Maced at the 1969 March on Washington.

I'm so glad my boomer parents didn't smoke weed and make me work in the fields of a commune.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wish me luck

The parentals are coming over to the Gulf Coast to spend some time with their glorious son. I've concluded that the best thing I did in my youth was slack. Had I cared they'd have expectations of me. My silly sis cared so she took all the pressure off of her often drunk older bro (me). Poor girl went to Ivy League schools and will have as much debt as Chrysler when she completes her doctorate.

I can't take it or leave it each time.....

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Smug Prick

Cliff Mason says:
Being a baby boomer hasn't been in style for decades. My generation grabbed the mantle of coolness years ago, and we took it from generation X. That doesn't mean the 78 million boomers are ready to roll over and admit their time has come and gone.

Although I'm not challenging his above statement about boomers, Cliff doesn't get GenX at all. Hey Cliff, we never cared about teh "coolness". With the media being dominated by wannabe hippie twits it was apparent to us that we'd never have a positive light bulb cast on us. GenX essentially laid on our beds with headphones on and existed in our own little world as back-slapping boomers talked about their imaginary contributions to society and raised your equally self-important generation. And Cliff, even when you were just born you never fooled us as being innocent. The "Baby On Board" signs in the back windows of your Mommy's Volvos gave us insight into the pricks you'd grow up to be.

Begone all you Paris Hilton worshipping 20 Sumthins'. And I think you know where to stick your "coolness".

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Here! Have some music.....

This song is more Hardcore than a spiked baseball bat in the hands of a meth addict that escaped rehab.

More Gen X in the White House shit

I'm starting to like posting these because it drives the imaginary Generation Jones dickheads crazy.

Oh, I know, nothing is quite so neat and tidy—an entire generation doesn't have precise boundaries and certainly doesn't experience exactly the same thing at the same time. But several landmark events signal a change.

One, of course, is President-elect Obama. His swearing in later this month will mark the end of 16 years of Boomer presidents. While some might quibble over the official dividing line between the generations, I would argue that Obama is not a Boomer. Generation X is stepping to the fore.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Xster in 2010

Florida Congressman Kendrick Meek announced today he'll be running for the Senate seat that will be vacated by the shit-filled trash bag Mel Martinez. And check it out, this former State Trooper's voting record doesn't suck.

Vote "X" in 2010.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

OU fans, I'd like you to meet Brandon Spikes

....and that's "Mister Brandon Spikes" to you.

With all the deserved praise Tim Tebow and even Percy Harvin receive, the often overlooked All American we have is linebacker Brandon Spikes.

That was NFL bound Knowshon Moreno laid out for the buzzards, not a Baylor University running back.

......Sam Bradford is not sleeping well tonight.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Investing in scratched off lottery tickets

(UPDATE: LT Nixon sort of says he has "hope")

Look at the pic. This could be the site at our retirement reservation. I've never bought into the garbage that Social Security will still be around for us. I especially despise the assholes that tell us something along the lines of "In 2040 Social Security will still be paying out at 80%". I'm moderately savvy with the finances, so I know better to invest any $ in something that will return .80 cents on a dollar.

Here's an opinion from a very rare species. That species being an honest babyboomer.

From what I can gather, Madoff at least made an attempt to invest the money he got from early investors to give them the returns he promised. Those investments failed to bring in enough money and the scheme was doomed to fail sooner or later. But if Madoff had been a more brilliant investor, it might have worked.

The federal government, on the other hand, never tried to make the Social Security system work. The feds didn't invest the money in the market. They took the money that we gave them and lent it to themselves, promising themselves interest. To be paid by themselves.

This scheme is even more crooked than Madoff's. But try and explain that to adults, especially Baby Boomers. The math is complicated, but the typical boomer seems to understand that he or she is on the winning side of the curve in this scheme. We will get a good return on our Social Security payments and a fantastic return on our payments into Medicare.

But try talking to kids about it.

I do so regularly, often in college classes that I visit. Whenever I am before a class, I make it a point to tell the students the truth about Social Security. And the truth is that when the current crop of college kids are in their peak earning years, each will be supporting half a retiree. "I'll be on the beach sipping a margarita and you'll be paying my bills," I tell the kids.

...ramping up the trash talk

(Yes, those are real......real fake!)
Yep, one of teh perks of being a Gator quarterback are teh ladies. Above is a pic of Tim Tebow with Miss Monday (you should see Miss Thursday, she's really hot).
This video will explain to the unknowing about Tim's awesomeness:

Here are my game predictions:

- Tim Tebow will run for 75 yards and throw for 280.

- Percy Harvin will run for a TD and catch another.

- The unsuspecting hero will be TE Aaron Hernandez by catching 7 balls for 120 yards.

- Sam Bradford will be on his back more times than an OU sorority girl.

- OU runs for less than 90 yards

- Bradford will throw 3 interceptions

- Latchkey Man will be "stuck to the floorboards drunk" by the end of the 3rd quarter celebrating another Gator National Championship (we're starting to use these trophies as paper weights).

FINAL SCORE: Gators 38 - Sooners 17

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Remember this Time cover?

"All The Rage", gotta love it. Yeah, Time always went out of their way to be dickheads.

Monday, January 5, 2009

A notice to JenX67


I don't know if you're a University of Oklahoma fan or not, but that's besides the point because this week you've become the adversary since the Sooners will attempt to take on the mighty Florida Gators for the College Football National Championship.

Remember, if you're not a Gator you must be Gator Bait!! Chomp! Chomp!

: )

Hello, we're here too.......

Useless News and World Distort has some decent tips (as well as worthless ones) on acquiring health insurance for the laid off. Of course this was addressed to babyboomers, since they're the only ones that matter, but this can apply to most anyone.
Workers who find themselves unexpectedly laid off in middle age or forced into early retirement have many worries. One of their greatest fears is about finding health insurance coverage. Some 21 percent of baby boomers ages 45 to 64 report they are not confident they will be able to afford medical care this year, according to a new AARP survey. “The boomers are at a high risk of being uninsured, and they’re particularly worried. They’re concerned about losing their job-based coverage or not keeping up with the high premiums of individual coverage,” says Cheryl Matheis, AARP senior vice president. “And they don’t have the safety net that Medicare provides for older people.”

Silly Cheryl Matheis. She speaks of boomers as though they're not "older people". I have an idea for boomers that need a little extra loot to get through the tough times. Maybe they should consider walking out in front of cars and suing the drivers? There could be a nice payout if they survive.

They're never going away

Yep, we're still going to have to deal with tales of Woodstock, Disco and "why our music sucks" for a while. Lots of boomer crying in this article.
The Gen Xers have been patiently waiting for 10 to 15 years for the boomers to get out of their way so they can move up. If the boomers stay longer, the Gen X frustration level will likely boil over as they are getting squeezed by the gray ceiling and Millennial surge,” Wolfe explains.

So hold off on your dreams of becoming higher paid "yes" men and women.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Phew, it's finally over

I hate to wish time away, yet for me turning the page on 2008 hasn't caused tears to hit my keyboard.

The world's gonna end anyway. This video tells me so.......actually this is a rather impressive 3 minute film made by my buddy's son. It's nice to see that there's youth that still prefer simple/powerful imagery over dopey, billion dollar special effects.