Sunday, February 28, 2010

Gonna have to read this

Wow, never thought anyone would bother to write about the awesomeness of 80's teen moving pictures. Hey Susannah, if you send me a copy I'll review it. (via)
If you can finish the sentences spoken by the characters in John Hughes’ films, Susannah Gora has a book for you: YOU COULDN’T IGNORE ME IF YOU TRIED: THE BRAT PACK, JOHN HUGHES, AND THEIR IMPACT ON A GENERATION. It tells the behind-the-scenes stories of his teen films that were so unlike others in the genre, they were embraced by and defined an entire age group.

I learned everything on the school bus

I want to take a moment to reflect on a few items I learned while riding the bus (no, not the short bus).

- I learned older people are inherently cruel to younger ones
- I learned adults wouldn't always be around to stop trouble (bus drivers didn't give a fuck)
- I learned that Santa Claus is as real as Bat Man
- I learned that a Trapper Keeper is an excellent weapon
- I learned that children were not delivered by a stork
- I learned that drugs could be bought for lunch money
- I learned that book bags could also carry Playboy and Hustler
- I learned that if you stuck with your buddies you'd be okay

I can't thank the bus rides enough. No reason any kid from any generation should put off reality until middle school.

Clean, Cold Waves Today!

Orlando gun instructor blasts a student

Handling guns never felt fun for me. My entire family was in law enforcement (grandfather, father, uncle) and even though I learned gun safety, it always seemed like more of a pain in the ass than enjoyable. All the safety checks they did made if feel like it took a dog's life between unholstering the weapon and firing it- "I just want to shoot the fucking gun, goddammit!"
A gun instructor accidently shot a student in the foot Saturday during an NRA class to receive certification to carry a concealed weapon, Orlando police said.

Robert Frauman Jr., 50, was taken to Florida Hospital after instructor Michael Phillips' firearm discharged about 11:45 a.m., police said.

Phillips, 32, could not be reached for comment. The accident happened at Summit Church, located in a former movie theater near the Fashion Square mall.


Friday, February 26, 2010

"Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake!"

Lip service. The boomers will do nothing to mop up.

Someone wrote a book about why the baby boomers should pay up before they croak. Yeah, right. As if they ever worried about anyone other than fellow Woodstockers.
Over the same time-span, another group no different from the first by all the standard indicators of ethnicity, race, religion, culture, gender and so on, underwent an actual reduction in their wealth.

While all the facts cited are entirely correct, I've cheated a bit in those two paragraphs. They apply not to Canadians but to two groups of Britons alike in every respect but for their age: the winners were those aged 55 to 64 and the losers were aged 25 to 34.

That statistic and a lot of others no less thought-provoking come from a just-published book that's stirring a storm in Britain. Its title is The Pinch: How the Baby Boomers Took their Children's Future – and Why They Should Give It Back.

Friday, you freaks!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Tillikum Pardoned

I think it seems unreasonable to put a 12,000 LBS predator into a relatively small tank and expect it to act like a well trained poodle.
SeaWorld has no plans to euthanize the killer whale that dragged a trainer to her death Wednesday and will allow trainers to continue to work with the animal, a park official said today.

Weaseled by his own brother

Should be a fun Thanksgiving.
Jay McGwire could strut confidently into a baseball clubhouse and, at first blush, pass for his older brother. Mark, the enigmatic ex-slugger, is a tad taller, but the brothers sport a similar ruddy complexion, scruffy goatee and beefy build.

Spiking your vein may indicate you have a drug problem

Has he had anything go well for him after he turned 16?
Troubled ex-teen star Leif Garrett pleaded not guilty on Wednesday to one felony count of heroin possession in a Los Angeles courtroom, less than a month after police stopped him at a downtown subway station.

Say bye-bye

Wonder what men with malfunctioning dicks will buy now?
General Motors Co. said Wednesday it will shut down the stranded brand after its sale to China's Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machines collapsed.

GM Vice President John Smith said the Detroit carmaker, which has struggled to streamline its brand portfolio, is disappointed the deal fell through.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Even if this is staged it's still cool

FL dude escapes prison thru his toilet

Before I sit down I'll be sure to check for anyone coming thru the pipes.
Michael Jamal Rigby, 21, escaped Friday from the Osceola County Jail, where he was being held on numerous felony charges, including attempted murder.

According to investigators, he was able to unbolt a toilet lift it off the floor. He then made a hole in the ground larger and climbed through it, investigators said. Rigby also managed to get past two fences while not being noticed, investigators said.

Gen X knows when we're not wanted

This really isn't a secret. MTV made it clear a decade ago they don't want our viewership even though we're the ones responsible for their success. But since they're assholes about it, based on principles alone, I'll avoid purchasing anything their sponsors pimp.
Tidbit from the HRTS rubber-chicken luncheon over in sterile Century City: MTV Networks president Van Toffler reiterated the network's devotion to millennials (a.k.a Generation Y), but also made it clear that Generation X shouldn't let the door hit them on the way out.

"We're pushing Generation X out," Toffler said. "We're slaves to our different audiences, for MTV that's millennials, who are vastly different than Generation X; they're definitely less cynical -- they're more civic minded."

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Roof collapse at rabbit convention (Trying hard not to find humor in this)

I fear that if I laugh at this I'll get cancer.
Described as the "largest rabbit exhibition in Sweden," by someone who tracks these sorts of things, the show at the Rosvall tennis hall in Nyköping drew 1648 rabbits and their owners from around Europe. But heavy snowfall made the roof cave in overnight.

If you're not afraid of the IRS

Follow these steps. They'll be on you like groupies on a 80's era Hair Metal Band.


Truly a great GenXster athlete

Have the feeling he won't act like a baby boomer by sticking around trying to play until he turns 50.
I don't think Iverson will come back this season or next. He's done. His game is nowhere near where it was during his heyday and he knows it. So do the 76ers. The best way to gracefully handle the situation is do exactly what the 76ers have done, tell Iverson to "take all the time you need and prepare your Hall of Fame acceptance speech."

Monday, February 22, 2010

What the kiddies listen to

I think this sounds weak, but I don't think it sucks. Perhaps hope still may exist for Gen Y offering some creativity.

I win the bronze

If you Google "i hate baby boomers" guess who's site comes in at numero 3?

The Genetic Jackhammer

Wow. At 7 years old I didn't even know what jerking off meant.
A Florida man says the state is trying to force him to pay child support for a child who was born when he was 7 years old.

Rusty Cole, a National Guardsman from Port Orange, Fla., said his tax return was delayed by the state because officials told him he owes support payments for a child born in 1995 -- despite the fact that Cole was born in late 1987, Central Florida News 13 reported Wednesday.

All women love bad boys

Yeah, it happened in Florida.
The woman did have an appointment to visit the prisoner, but was turned away by prison authorities because she turned up late. More pertinently, the jail doesn't allow conjugal visits.

Frustrated, the woman drove away, but then came back a short while later. At this point, prison officials called the police, as they suspected she had been drinking.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Went to this display of awesomeness today.

Nope. I just don't see myself driving this.

Maybe when my penis stops working I'll find an interest in driving a Corvette.
"Generation X doesn't relate to the Corvette," Lindland said.

Indeed, Corvette sales hit a 49-year low of just 13,934 in 2009, Edmunds notes. Corvette's 48.3% decline was far worse than Chevrolet or GM as a whole suffered in recession-plagued 2009.

A more affordable Corvette would be a return to the model's roots, IHS analyst John Wolkonowicz said. As late as the mid-1990s, "mere mortals could afford Corvettes," he said. "A college grad could order a new 'Vette. You don't see that anymore."

I'm always a day late. Or two.

Cobain's birthday happened yesterday.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Don't make things like they used to

Jesus, these things still work?
Nine-year-old Edward George Weise III of Lakeland, Florida, was in the kitchen of his home late yesterday afternoon, holding a WWII pineapple grenade in one hand and a lighter in the other.

He lit the lighter next to the grenade and it exploded, critically injuring himself and sending shrapnel through the wall and into other rooms in the house, advised Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

I hope record stores make it...

....but the realist in me knows it's over.

We're a bunch of gun toting, religous zealots

A shotgun in one hand, a Bible in the other.
Moreover, Millennials are far more likely than older people to describe themselves as liberals. In the fourth quarter of 2009, as many Millennial voters identified themselves as liberals (29%) as conservatives (28%), while 40% said they are moderates. In every other age group, far more voters described their views as conservative than liberal. Among voters in Gen X, 38% described their political views as moderate and 38% said they were conservative; only 20% described themselves as liberal.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

New Wu

Please don't let this be sucky.
Due on March 30th, the Wu-Massacre release from Method Man, Raekwon and Ghostface Killah is sizing up to fall in line with last year's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...Pt. II, HipHopDX's Album Of The Year For 2009. The album features sequels to "Meth vs. Chef" from Method Man's 1994 debut Tical as well as "Criminology 2.5," a follow-up to the fourth track on Raekwon's 1995 debut.

Had this poster as a kid


From an email I received:
The next time you are bored and have nothing better to do, get out your cell phone, don't turn it on, but speak into it like the guy in this video.

I don't care who/what anyone worships or doesn't believe in

Just as long as no one bangs on my door to hand me literature about their faith.
Members of the "Millennial" generation (born since 1980) say they believe in God at rates similar to "Generation X" (born between 1965 and 1980), but are less likely to pray or attend religious services, according to the study.

The center analyzed several recent polls, including Pew's 2007 U.S. Religious Landscape Survey of 35,556 adults over 18. It found that 25 percent of those under 30 described their religious identity as "atheist," "agnostic," or "nothing in particular."

By comparison, 19 percent of Gen-Xers characterized themselves that way, and 15 percent of adults in their 40s and 50s said they were unaffiliated.

Yes, I'm a complete asshole to strangers that drop by my pad to pimp their religion.

I hate to spoil the movie ending for you....

...but he dies in the end.
In trademark Broomfield fashion, these are hardly comfy-chair, perfectly-lit interviews. Broomfield has long fashioned himself a guerrilla filmmaker; the type of person that combines courage with wide-eyed naiveté when hitting the streets for a new interview subject to talk to. In Cobain and Love's world, as viewed through Broomfield, Seattle is a city populated with drug addicts, misfits and shameless lowlifes looking to exploit Cobain's suicide for personal gain. It's disgusting. It's exploitative. And it's constantly fascinating.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Support your street musicians

Dude's unreal.

Always pull for the drunkard

Especially if they adorn a Megadeth T-shirt.
Bode Miller. When America first cast eyes on him during this Olympics, it was as though we had the wrong guy. Surely this was not the surly skier from Olympics' past. This could not be the Gen X borderline Y who figuratively gave the Olympic world the finger as he partied and consequently under performed time and time again.

WOW. Four years and an attitude adjustment resulted in a medal by 9/100's of a second. Now the most decorated American male alpine skier in history. What happened? How did he go from petulant child to record-breaking icon?

Anyone else watch this?

Davey and Goliath seemed marketed very sneakily. They used to put it on after the cartoons ended and kids would say "we'll this show sucks but it's better than watching the soaps".

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

She's fucked

In her case I find it perfectly acceptable to find a rich guy, have him pay off her debt, and divorce him.
When Michelle Bisutti, a 41-year-old family practitioner in Columbus, Ohio, finished medical school in 2003, her student-loan debt amounted to roughly $250,000. Since then, it has ballooned to $555,000.

It is the result of her deferring loan payments while she completed her residency, default charges and relentlessly compounding interest rates. Among the charges: a single $53,870 fee for when her loan was turned over to a collection agency.

Mobile Strip Club

FL may not create brilliant minds, yet many here should indeed be considered creative (granted most of the creative ones use their ingenuity for mischief, but it still should be appreciated). NOTE: I'm sure it will come as a surprise to you that I've been to this strip club. Not the one on wheels, but the original one on Adamo Drive.
Tampa, Florida - Talk about taking the show on the road.

Déjà Vu, a gentlemen's club located on East Adamo Drive, has started driving what it calls the "Stripper Mobile" around town. The "Stripper Mobile" is a large truck with Plexiglas sides featuring a stripper pole and dancers inside, sort of like a peep show on wheels.

If they're still getting laid by young groupies I'll eat a live raccoon

Because they're baby boomers they will not stop performing until they make a complete mockery of their one-time-greatness.
Tyler temporarily quit the group last year (09) after announcing he wanted a hiatus; he has since checked into rehab in an effort to kick a painkiller addiction.

Following the shock news he'd be leaving the band, guitarist Joe Perry revealed he'd be looking to replace the frontman with a new singer, so the group could honour 2010 studio and concert commitments.

But now it seems Tyler is heading back to the band - for a date at Download.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Musically speaking, I go in cycles

From Punk, to Garage, to Metal, and, as you can probably tell, I've been listening to much Rap lately.

GenXster wins Daytona 500

Let's celebrate our GenXster sportsters now cuz our athletic accomplishments are closing out fast.
Ganassi, after all, gave McMurray his first break when the little-known driver was looking for a shot at NASCAR’s top level. He had his ego bruised three years later when McMurray fled for a perceived better opportunity at Roush-Fenway Racing, but Ganassi didn’t let the hurt feelings fester and agreed to give McMurray another shot last fall when the driver found himself out of work.

It paid off Sunday night with a thrilling Daytona 500 victory, the biggest NASCAR win for both the driver and owner.

I just don't see it

Since I base my analysis on a pack of fuck-ups I call my "friends" I don't see how Xsters divorce less than previous generations. But since I never research anything due to my chronic laziness I'm probably wrong (hopefully wrong).
So argues American social commentator Kay Hymowitz. "By the later 1990s young middle-class men and women were clearly turning their backs on the unmarriage revolution that had shaped their own childhoods. In surveys they pronounced themselves passionate fans of the institution."

According to Hymowitz, researchers find young people to be more interested in large families, increasingly dissatisfied with the daycare option and latchkey situations, and
wanting to spend more time with their children. There are numerous reasons for this "opt-out revolution," she says, but the main one is "simply generational backlash. Generation X and its younger brothers and sisters looked into the unmarriage abyss and decided they didn't want to go there."

Sunday, February 14, 2010

the result of too much junk food and video games

Come on, Kev, order a salad sometime.
Kevin Smith's most famous role is a guy who rarely speaks. But he's got a lot to say – much of it profane – after being kicked off a Southwest Air flight because he didn't fit comfortably into the seat.

"You [messed] with the wrong sedentary processed-foods eater!" Smith, whose next film, Cop Out, comes out Feb. 26, posted on Twitter.

And some of you have tried to tell me "wrasslin' is fake"

Football is fake. And if you saw the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play this year you'd believe me.

Knock, knock. "Mailman here. Have a message from God."

I don't think JJJJJEEEEEZZZZZUUUUUSSSSS would approve of one of his flock entering a neighbor's home blasting away like Yosemite Sam. h/t: Fark
According to deputies, a Merritt Island woman claimed she was a messenger from God when she broke into her neighbor's house with a gun and started shooting.

Eyewitness News learned the victims knew the woman, who was identified as Kathleen Aceto. She lives nearby on Monitor Street (see map). Officers said she walked over to her neighbor's house around 8:00am, went inside and opened fire. The owner then grabbed a gun and fired back.

Here's the Bible passage she delivered:

Attempt to salvage a pathetic political legacy

I'm all for GenXsters holding political office. Although I prefer that they not achieve this by using their family name (in this case the name may become more hindrance than asset.
Former Vice President Dan Quayle announced February 12 that his son, Ben Quayle, 33, an attorney in Scottsdale, Arizona, will be running for the Republican nomination for the Third Congressional District, one of several in the Phoenix area.

BTW- what the fuck is Ben and that other dude doing behind the statue?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Ancient Nintendo goes for 13K on Ebay

After reading this I wonder how many GenXsters are going to call home and say "Hey Mah, can you go in the attic and see if that Nintendo is still around?"

Pay up sucka!

There's no way Dre would have had the guts to do this if Suge Knight still ran Death Row Records.
Young has not been paid royalties on the original "The Chronic" album since he split with Death Row in 1996, the lawsuit states. The label, a one-time powerhouse of rap music artists, eventually fell into bankruptcy but was bought by WIDEawake and re-formed.


Not very Christian-like.
In court documents posted on the gossip site Radar Online, Candi Holyfield claims Evander Holyfield struck her February 1 after she asked him about the heat being cut off. She said her husband told her she needed to put God first and asked her whether she had been tithing, then struck her when she refused to show him check stubs of payments to the church.

Pheew! When I read the title I became scared they'd mention my town.

After they move in we'll have to figure out how to quarantine them.
America's Top Places for Boomers to Retire

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Not only does his music suck....

...he's also a racist.

Busy day...'s some more music.

These signs should be as common as "No Skateboarding"

What do you even say to the judge?

Just plead "guilty" and hope the judge doesn't send you to a place where lots of men will be 'whipping it out'.
FORT WALTON BEACH -- A man charged with indecent exposure for pulling out his erect penis at the Florida State Vocational Rehabilitation Office told police that he thought a female office worker was "digging him," so he pulled it out to show her.

Daytona 500

The city of Daytona's economy seems based around 3 thingys: Spring Break, Bike Week, and The Daytona 500.

Just in case you want to get in touch with your inner redneck here's a "5 Minute Guide" to the big race this Sunday.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I got 99 problems....

Today some called in sick to surf

Yet I wussed out. At 6:45 AM I stood at the water's edge attempting to justify why I shouldn't go to the office. Eventually I made the mistake of acting responsible.

Regrets. I don't so much regret things I've done as much as I regret moments I passed up.

We're not just going to mop a floor

We're gonna be cleaning up a peep show booth type-of-mess with semen running down the walls and ankle deep in urine.
I believe the heavy impact of this ­recession on what has been called the lost generation of young people is part of a wider pattern. In my new book, The Pinch, I argue that my generation – the baby boomers – are in danger of dumping too many problems on the younger generation.

The boomers – roughly those who were born between 1945 and 1965 – have done, and continue to do, some great things, but now the bills are coming in, and it is the younger generation who will pay them. We have a good idea of what at least some of these future costs are: the cost of climate change, of investing in the infrastructure our economy will need if we are to prosper, paying pensions when the big boomer cohort retires – on top of the cost of servicing the debt the government has built up.
When nothing gets done despite his warnings he'll throw up his arms and say "whelp, at least I tried" and then clear his conscience of the disaster the baby boomers passed along.

"The Volcano is affectionately known as the “Mercedes Benz” of toking up."

Approved by filthy, decomposing, rich baby boomers everywhere.
The Volcano Vaporizer has become a coveted status symbol for posh pot smokers, who say it draws out the drug's aroma like "the bouquet of a wine," and their personal trainers insist on it.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Need a babysitter?

If you have to tell him not to shoot around the kids there's already a problem.
Deputies say the girl's mother asked Hood to watch her daughter and another child while she left the home for a job interview on September 30 of last year.

"Before she left she specifically told him do not shoot the BB gun around the children," the sheriff's office said in a statement. "He had just been in the backyard shooting the BB gun at targets he had set up, and now the children were in the backyard playing."

We'll make a deal

The United States will accept New Zealand's under 50 crowd as long as we can send them our baby boomers. Although I cannot promise that after this takes place we won't surround the country with battleships and light the place up.
John Key has just sent Generations X and Y a clear message: Leave the country now.

He may as well have directed those younger taxpayers who are stupid/poor/unlucky enough not to own property to the websites for AirNZ, PacificBlue and Jetstar and suggested they buy one-way tickets to Australia.

From Florida with love, hugs and wet kisses

In the late 80's Miami unleashed what came to be known as Booty Music.

Why you ask did they call it this......

Monday, February 8, 2010

Shallow Thought

When I was a young kid I daydreamed of one day becoming a blogger.

Worst 1/2 Time Show Ever

The Who should be living in an old folks home being spoon-fed mashed peas.
Yet since the infamous "nipplegate" incident of 2004, the NFL has turned to an increasingly hoary roster of classic rockers well past their prime to crank out their dustiest hits during halftime-nostalgic blasts from the pasts in the middle of the game of the moment.

On Sunday, in the wake of Paul McCartney (2005), the Rolling Stones ('06), Prince ('07), Tom Petty ('08) and Bruce Springsteen ('09), Super Bowl XLIV gave us the saddest, most tired musical spectacle yet: the band that pretends to be the Who.

This article may be a little late.......

...because Gen Y has been getting their house-of-cards-confidence kicked out of them.
At the risk of sounding like a cranky, aging Gen-Xer, whatever happened to taking pride in not doing your job? These kids today, with their optimism and ambition, make me sick. As journalist Katrina Onstad noted in a May 2009 Toronto Life article about the surfeit of confidence Millennials have exuded during the economic downturn, "Generation X's expectations out of university ranged from low to zilch, and we were right, met by an early '90s recession and several years of humbling McJobs."