2nd semester of my sophomore year I was broke. I mean really broooooooo-ke. For 2 full days all I ate was hot dog buns (just the bread, I didn't have the coin for the cheap cylinder-shaped meat). I needed food, so I took it.
The Saturday following my "bun diet" I went to a lively house party that some frat dudes were throwing. I purposely armed myself with barely strung together justifications to loot the place- "They have nice clothes. This house isn't cheap to rent. Look at their cars in the driveway, these dudes have plenty of money." I stayed late that night, well after the partygoers took off. Near daylight the last of the residents finally had enough boozing and politely threw me out.
Unbeknownst to them I unlocked a side door they'd latched after the party died. For a half hour I waited down the street shaking from the cold, waiting for the bastards to be passed out..............I returned, ready to give them a lame excuse had I been caught- "Uhhh, have you seen my keys? I've seemed to've misplaced them...".
No one woke up. I found a fresh garbage bag and loaded up. Everything edible in the fridge and freezer went in the Hefty. The cupboards? Cleared them out, too. As a testament to how hungry I was I left the beer behind. Yes, an 19 year old college kid with a confirmed alcohol problem was so starved he didn't want to take up space in the getaway bag with booze. I was that fucking famished.
Sorry dudes. If you figure it out it was me I promise to take you grocery shopping.
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