Mostly you're easy to spot. Your skin is either bed sheet-white or peeling off from a sunburn that looks more like exposure to radiation. Some of you dress funny. Socks with sandals must be popular up north. And please remember to take the tag off of your recently purchased Hawaiian shirt and Panama Jack hat. Yet, some of you try to blend in, and some succeed. But I found a sure way of identifying tourists- when you're sitting in a beach chair many tourists hold open the 1st chapter of a book they purchased at the airport. Literally their left hand holds no more than 25 pages and the right holds onto the other 250.
Let's face it, you're never gonna finish this book. You haven't read anything since your kid made you read to him How Do Dinosaurs Say I Love You. Next time just pick up a lame Hollywood gossip magazine and stop thinking that your Florida vacation is going to somehow transform you into an intellect.
2 comments:
Bec. magazines are too big. The pages fly all around in the breeze and all.
And besides, it's a trashy romance novel and you're HAPPY to read some of those parts over and over and over and . . . . :)
One of the worst sunburns I had as an adult was exactly from that, too -- it looked like I had a stripe down one arm of bright red. (Geez.)
You mean you don't own an iPad yet? Magazines and books are so 2009.
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