Have I posted this before?

As long time, awesome commenter Kath points out

No, the baby boomers ain't ever going to retire. Adjust your career goals to nothing further than middle management.

As the economy collapsed last year, federal retirements dropped to their lowest level in seven years, according to statistics released Monday by the Office of Personnel Management.

OPM said 43,649 full-time permanent employees retired in fiscal 2009 — 27 percent fewer than OPM had projected would retire. Federal retirements haven't been that low since fiscal 2002, when 41,699 employees retired.

Sorry I've been out of the loop

As you can see I have myself in a bind. Sometimes life's nonsense takes control- family matters, illness shit, and I even managed to blow my motorcycle engine. Sheesh. Makes one stronger, right?

Good swimmers, apparently.

The Atlantic ain't very forgiving. They're very lucky the oil hasn't closed down fishing where they capsized.

They spent nearly three days adrift at sea; the only thing they had to cling to was a water cooler. Despite an extensive Coast Guard search covering more than 11,000 miles, it was a passing fisherman who found the three, by accident.

In a call to officials, the fisherman said, "Yeah, Coast Guard, this is vessel 10 Frank. Just picked up three survivors out of the water. I wonder if somebody can come and get them from me."

Billy Corgan. Forever an asshole.

The Smashing Pumpkins reunion with one original member. Great fun.

As the 1990s grunge sensation The Smashing Pumpkins gears up for tomorrow's release of its newest EP, the band has just one familiar face left in the lineup: the mercurial frontman, Billy Corgan.

Corgan, 43, has replaced every member of the band. The last original member to move on was 45-year-old drummer Jimmy Chamberlin in March of 2009. Corgan, who stated publicly that he fired Chamberlin, replaced him with Mike Byrne, a Portland native who turned 20 in February.

Play nice while I'm gone

My birthday is about an hour away and I'm going fishing in the Keys into next week.

NOTE: if you know where I live and you think this is a good opportunity to loot my crib, I suggest otherwise. My buddy is crashing here over the duration so he can lay around the beach. And "yes" he knows where my revolver is.

For the 80's mopes

...that wore black and stared at their shoes.

Stupid knows no limits

911 operators in Florida must not be shocked at anything.

FORT WALTON BEACH — A woman overheard a man talking on the phone outside her bedroom window at 12:35 a.m., May 5.

When she heard Kevin Wayne Weathersby say, “I’m about to commit a crime,” she alerted her boyfriend, according to an arrest report from the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office.

The boyfriend watched Weathersby, 30, as he sat down on the nearby deck of a trailer and continued the phone conversation.

The boyfriend sat down inside then heard glass breaking. The boyfriend ran to his front door and saw Weathersby lying down on the deck but did not see any broken glass. He went back inside and continued to listen.

I'll forever have a crush on Heather Locklear

And I believe everything she says.

HEATHER Locklear doesn’t have a drug problem!

The actress has reportedly refused to take part in the new season of Celebrity Rehab because she isn’t an addict… anymore.

DIO died

Bad news to end the weekend.

Ronnie James Dio, whose soaring vocals, poetic lyrics and mythic tales of a never-ending struggle between good and evil broke new ground in heavy metal, died Sunday, according to a statement from his wife and manager. He was 67..

Dio revealed last summer that he was suffering from stomach cancer shortly after wrapping up a tour in Atlantic City, N.J. with the latest incarnation of Black Sabbath, under the name Heaven And Hell.

Thanks for the music, Ronnie. So many of us Metal Heads will be in mourning. Here's your devil horn sign coming right back at ya.

FNM

Must be bike race season

Cuz I see all the idiots dressing like Lance Armstrong peddle around the beach.

Reporting from Sacramento -- The fifth edition of the Amgen Tour of California begins Sunday with a race from Nevada City to Sacramento set as the first of eight stages that will bring cyclists to the finish line in Thousand Oaks on May 23, but Lance Armstrong's goal isn't to win this title.

Instead, Armstrong, 38, hopes to begin a 50-day push that will leave him well-prepared to compete for an eighth Tour de France winner's trophy in July.

Rebounding after blowing $60M

Going from the back of the limo to the front and back again. Good for Kenny.

Almost 21 years after he first enrolled in college – as a celebrated basketball phenom from New York City -- Kenny Anderson will graduate with honors, walking across the stage Saturday afternoon in cap and gown, accepting his diploma from St. Thomas University in Miami.

It might be the proudest day of his life.

"It's going to be a very emotional moment for me,'' Anderson told FanHouse Thursday. "It might surprise a lot of people. To be honest, I wasn't always sure I had it in me.''

BLLSHT double standard

I lived like a whore-pig well into my 30's and paid no price for it. Had I been a woman I'd have been villified.

This week, everyone is talking about young women's sex lives. Sure, that's pretty much always the case -- but this week saw the birth of an interesting debate about whether young sex-positive women are shunning the drunken one-night stands of yesteryear and reconsidering (whispers) abstinence.

It started up two weeks ago with a conference at Harvard called "Rethinking Virginity." Women bloggers from all corners of the Web gathered (in person!) to brainstorm about new and enlightened ways to think about female sexuality. The idea was to do away with the shaming and judgement. Slate's Jessica Grose attended the conference and felt that reality fell far short of that aim.

Kiddie Counterfeiter

Cute kid.

LEE COUNTY — Lee County deputies are looking into the case of a student who brought a counterfeit dollar bill to his school in an effort to buy a Mother’s Day gift.

The boy, whose name was not released, took the fake currency to San Carlos Park Elementary School, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report.

When a bookkeeper received the dollar, “it was plain to see that it was (a) fake bill because of the way it was glued together and from the uneven cuts on the ends,” according to the report.

Enjoy the now, right now.

We're taking over! At least until Gen Y becomes old enough to push their own candidates.

The new British prime minister is the first major world leader who comes from my generation. He is 43. I am 43. Anybody care to venture how a Gen X world leader will be different, both in style and substance, from Baby Boomers? Obama is an interesting case because though he's technically a Baby Boomer, he does seem to be more of a Gen X figure. But there's no doubt that Cameron is the first Gen X world leader of the first rank. He is also bound to have a different point of view on economics -- he came of age under Thatcher, after all, and did not have his political consciousness formed by the economic struggles of the 1960s and 1970s -- and on moral issues, for the same reason. The world that formed Reagan, Thatcher and their supporters was not the same world that formed David Cameron. Nor, for that matter, was it the world that formed Bill Clinton.

Cancelled

Damn.

NEW YORK (AP) — On her Comedy Central show, Sarah Silverman got drunk on cough syrup, mocked the abortion rights debate and seduced none other than God. That's all over now.

The network says The Sarah Silverman Program, which recently ended its third outrageous season, won't be back for a fourth.

"The Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever"

I've been looking for a place to attend grad school.

On April 9, 2010, Miami University's Pi Beta Phi fraternity for women held a spring formal at the quaint Lake Lyndsay Lodge in Hamilton, Ohio. The sloppy, slutty details of what transpired that boozy enchanted evening are tremendous.

Amateur Video Of Gulf Oil Slick - Worse Than BP Admits

Someone, somewhere hearts us

We won't find this love in the United States.

No, the reason why I have always found Xers intriguing is because I think they are jolly good sports. They don't raise embarrassing questions on the subject of inter-generational equity.

Boomers got fee-free tertiary education over the 15 years to 1987 and yet when Xers turned up to uni what did the government of the day do? That's right, in came HECS tertiary education fees. And not a word from Generation X. Or, more correctly, not an organised social revolt, which I am sure would have been the boomer response a decade or so earlier.

Playboy GenXster Buys The Nets

The party is wherever this guy is at.

The financial transaction was closed at 12:30 p.m. Wednesday, the team announced in a statement. That came a day after Mikhail Prokhorov's purchase of the team was approved by NBA's owners, who welcomed the first non-North American into their club.

Russia's richest man agreed to buy 80% of the Nets and 45% of an arena project in Brooklyn from developer Bruce Ratner late last year. Final approval of the sale was delayed until the state of New York had taken over all the land seized under eminent domain at the site of the team's Barclays Center in Brooklyn.

Natural Causes

I'm sure all the people, particularly in the media, that said he likely died of an overdose will come out and apologize. Waiting....waiting.....

Corey Haim died of natural causes.

A coroner’s report into the cause of death has ruled the Canadian actor passed away from respiratory distress - not a drugs overdose, as previously believed.

While the report found traces of drugs in his system, it found none in a high enough capacity to contribute toward his death.

RES

Portia de Rossi. So beautiful.

Yes it involves drinking.

This mother got a bleeding son from her other son.

LONG BEACH — Police say a Florida man stabbed his brother in the back and cut his throat at a family gathering on Mother’s Day.

Jamie Earl O’Grady of East Fort Walton Beach claims his brother was yelling and cursing at their mother, said Assistant Police Chief Don Bass.

“He snapped,” Bass said.

Oh wells

In the future money won't mean a damn thing anyway (that doesn't mean I'm going to share what I have).

I know several couples who have not yet started saving for retirement. They share much in common. All in their 30s, with children and mortgages, they are just managing their household expenses and their debt loads. Saving for the future is something that they know should do, but try not to think about.

Many now in their 30s and 40s are facing financial challenges, with the experience of two recessions, relatively high debt loads and fewer company pension plans to rely on in retirement. The majority of us will move from job to job, as career roles at companies that offer defined benefit pension plans quickly disappear.

Snoop Doggy Dog need to get a jobby job

Gator Bait

It's not a kitten. It's a powerful reptile that's smart enough to have survived on Earth for millions of years.

NEW PORT RICHEY — An alligator wrestler was bitten by an 8-foot-long alligator and severely injured while performing Sunday at the Cotee River Seafood Festival, authorities said.

Jeff Quattrocchi, 45, an alligator handler from Kissimmee, was in the midst of a performance at 1 p.m. when the reptile chomped onto his right arm.

They're still better than the boomers

Which actually doesn't say a lot.

Gen Y workers get a bad rap in the workplace, with many a geezer complaining that their work ethic is less developed than their sense of entitlement. But is that really fair?

Yes, according to new research that’s yielded actual data to back up that notion.

In a series of studies using surveys that measure psychological entitlement and narcissism, University of New Hampshire management professor Paul Harvey found that Gen Y respondents scored 25 percent higher than respondents ages 40 to 60 and a whopping 50 percent higher than those over 61.

Quick Rant

The 40th anniversary of the National Guard shooting up stoned co-eds passed on 4 May but it seems like, in typical baby boomer fashion, they're going to drag it out at least until September.

In their minds nothing happened before 1946 and little happened after 1990.

I'm not a golfer

But I follow sports closely and I notice a lot of articles about Phil Mickelson have begun like this over the years:

The TPC Sawgrass Players Stadium Course did its part on Sunday.

Phil Mickelson just couldn't hold up his end of the deal.

The course regained its bite during the final round of The Players Championship and kept the third-round leaders from running away with the tournament, but Mickelson was unable to shoot the low round he needed to move up and have a chance to become the sixth golfer to win the Players more than once.

I think he chokes a lot because he has banana tits. Any dude whose appearance would improve with the use of a bra has never become a great athlete.

The Gulf Coast's Greatest Surfer

Local dude, Cory Lopez, killing it before a past hurricane arrived.

Gen X book out: The Ask

Not sure what this talk is of a Gen X midlife crisis? I thought we got it out of the way by having a early life crisis in the 90's?

The Gen X what? I wish I could inflect those paired pop-sociological clichés with the requisite irony, but my air-quote fingers are afflicted with incipient arthritis. The ridiculousness of the phrase is telling, though, since it registers the sense of absurdity, the innate nonseriousness, that has been this generation’s burden ever since the Canadian novelist Douglas Coupland christened us in his 1991 novel, “Generation X,” the title of which was inspired by the second-rate punk band that gave the world Billy Idol.

I see you rolling your eyes. That’s right, you: the one in the fake-vintage rock ’n’ roll
T-shirt and thick-framed glasses reading this on an iPhone at the sidelines of your daughter’s soccer game. But you know exactly what I’m talking about, pal. (And by the way: stop trying to be a hip alterna-sports dad. Just cheer, for God’s sake.)

We grew up in the shadow of the baby boomers, who still manage, in their dotage, to commandeer disproportionate attention. Every time they hit a life cycle milestone it’s worth 10 magazine covers. When they retire, the Social Security system will go under! When they die, narcissism will be so much lonelier.

"All bets are off"

No reason for optimism.

Orange-colored oil from the April 22 BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico has reached Louisiana’s fragile Chandeleur Islands, which are part of the Breton National Wildlife Refuge, an area that officials have now closed so that nesting sea birds will be undisturbed and to “allow cleanup operations continue uninhibited.” Environmentalists are increasingly worried about the toll the spill will take on more than 400 species in this rich nursery area. As Nancy Rabalais, a scientist who heads the Louisiana Universities Marine Consortium, said, “The magnitude and the potential for ecological damage is probably more great than anything we’ve ever seen in the Gulf of Mexico.”

Shoving her personal 'morals' onto central Florida

I'm skeptical that this idiot can read without running a finger tip under each word.

Longwood parent Tina Harden was so disturbed by references to sex and drugs and foul language in the world of fictional teenager Jenny Humphrey that she is ignoring overdue notices and phone calls from her neighborhood library and its bill collector.

Harden refuses to return several books connected to the Gossip Girl series that detail Humphrey's life, even though she's had them since 2008.

Facebook Follies

Wonder how many divorces will stem from this?

On Wednesday, users discovered a glitch that gave them access to supposedly private information in the accounts of their Facebook friends, like chat conversations.

Not long before, Facebook had introduced changes that essentially forced users to choose between making information about their interests available to anyone or removing it altogether.

Keepin' with the airport theme

Some people should be made to live in cages. (via)

READING porn magazines, joining the mile-high club solo and emptying a colostomy bag are some of the grossest things plane passengers are reported to have committed.

A sick list has been compiled by travel website Jaunted, with passengers revealing a dirty dozen of stomach-churning onboard experiences.

It's how ya use it, right?

'Big' Rolando got pissed.

Perhaps the new airport body scanners are a bit too revealing.

A TSA worker in Miami was arrested for aggravated battery after police say he attacked a colleague who'd made fun of his small genitalia after he walked through one of the new high-tech security scanners during a recent training session.

Another reason to worry 'bout the Gulf of Mexico

This jack was caught off of Boca Grande.

This is all so awesome

Not trying to act morbid, but this sucks.

Orange-colored oil from the Gulf of Mexico oil spill has washed up on the western side of North Island, the northenmost sliver of the Chandeleur and Breton Island chain.

"On a small section of the northernmost island, we could see a pretty significant buildup of oil," said Times-Picayune photographer John McCusker, after an aerial tour of the spill this morning. "It's not inundated, but oil has definitely reached the island."

Barely Remembered this Song

Yeah, that's a turtle in the oil

Motherfucking sickening. There's hardly a human alive I wouldn't rather see in this turtle's position.

Not happening

Stupid WSJ. They should know by now we don't ever lead any movement.

You can follow the link above for more stats and figures, but when we chatted with Paul Keckley, executive director of the Deloitte Center for Health Solutions, we were intrigued by one theme he brought up: members of Generation X, or those born between 1965 and 1981, may be the group of consumers who actually do prod the system into changing its ways. “If there’s an epicenter of change, it’s that group,” he says. “There’s definitely a generational wall between the boomers and seniors who say, ‘It is what it is,’ and Gen X, which says the system should do a lot of things it’s not doing now. They want to see their own records, they want to know whether a doctor is competent or not and they want to see prices up front.”

Yay Jimmy

I'm surprised they didn't give this slot to Leno.

Gen X comedian/actor and late night talk show host Jimmy Fallon has been asked to host the Emmy awards this year. The 35 year old host of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon will host the 62nd Annual Emmy Awards show that takes place on August 29th on NBC.

What happened to my Death Metal post?

Oh well, here's the vid again.

I miss Mallory

Justine Bateman, that is. Check out her hair, the big earrings, the outfit. Perfect in 1987, perfect for me now.

Death Metal needed!

This fuckin' sucks

I've already accepted that no one in particular will be held accountable for this shit. There'll be a congressional investigation and they'll spread the blame around to enough people so no one has to take the full hit.

This is just further proof that many people don't deserve to live long lives.

So far only sheens have reached into some coastal waters, and the oil's slow progress despite an uncapped seafloor gusher has given crews and volunteers time to lay boom in front of shorelines. That effort was stymied by choppy seas into the weekend, but officials were optimistic Tuesday as the sun came out and winds eased.

Coast Guard spokesman David Mosley said Tuesday that rig operator BP LPC would continue trying to cap the leak and authorities hoped to dump chemicals from an airplane to help break up the sheen.

The uncertainty has been trying for people who live along a swath of the Gulf from Louisiana to Florida. The undersea well has been spewing 200,000 gallons a day since an April 20 explosion aboard the drilling rig Deepwater Horizon that killed 11 workers.

Last went to KY Derby in '99

The infield of the track is the worst place possible this side of Somalia (in sort of a good way). 100,000 drunk college kids and rednecks. You'll see fights, bare breasts and IV drug users. Not at all like the crowd sipping Mint Juleps in Millionaires Row.

Looks like nothing has changed 11 years later.

Yesterday's Surf

Generation Jokers are back

With Britain appearing to hand over power to a younger generation those that claim to be "Generation Jones" are reemerging. You know them, right? They were born somewhere between the mid 50's to the mid 60's and are too cool to be labeled either a boomer of GenXster.

David Cameron and Nick Clegg are neither Boomers nor GenXers. Instead, they belong to a distinct generation in between, one long under the radar and only now making its full impact felt. I coined the term "Generation Jones" for this long lost generation, which includes not only Cameron, Clegg, and many of Britain’s most influential new movers and shakers, but also over two thirds of the current Presidents and Prime Ministers of EU and NATO member countries. The exact birth years vary slightly between countries; in the UK, GenJonesers were born from 1955 to 1967, and are now 42 to 55 years old.

We Jonesers have long been lumped with Boomers simply because we arrived during the same long post-World War II spike in births. But generations arise from shared formative experiences, not head counts, and the two groups evolved with dramatic differences.

Local dude's Bahama surf, fishing, drinking trip.

Check out more cool pics here.

Shadows Fall

Conan Speaks

Tonight in regards to him getting tossed out of his job because a baby boomer wanted it.

(CBS) Conan O'Brien refutes NBC's contention that "The Tonight Show" he briefly hosted was losing money and also says the six months he had the show were not long enough to declare it a failure with viewers.

O'Brien appears in his first interview since being forced from his Tonight Show role in a "60 Minutes" segment to be broadcast this Sunday, May 2, at 7 p.m. ET/PT.

This drinker has a blogging problem

I'm back. Happy to see that oil hasn't shown up on my shoreline just yet.

Looks like the Louisiana fishermen are the first to get fucked. But hey, at least they're getting employed cleaning up the mess they never created, right?